Headlines

I think the Eats, Shoots, and Leaves author can be kinda crazy, but I guess he/she has a point.

I didn't realize REM's video for Losing My Religion was so complex in its visual sources.

Rich people are stupid.

So you've probably seen these commercials by now where "Kate," the young professional, walks to her car, the last one in an empty parking lot. Her luxury car has a feature that shows if there is the heartbeat of a rapist/killer/mugger/magician/teleporter hiding inside of her car. She sees that, indeed, blood pumps through the veins of an unseen attacker inside of her luxurious automobile. She stops, spins around, and begins to run away. Thank god for the heartbeat detector – her car really cares about her safety!

Wait. Why doesn’t the car company just make a feature that makes it impossible for some stranger to slip inside?!?! What are car alarms for, again? Seriously, unless we’re talking about the ghost in Ghostbusters that gets into the taxi cab through the tail pipe, what’s the point of this useless, extraneous feature that really creates a false sense of safety? “Phew! The heartbeat sensor isn’t going off. There’s no way some whacko won’t be waiting, hiding on the outside of my car.”

And really, if you’re making enough money to purchase this car with such frivolous features, you probably work some place with security, and that means secure escorts. Kate, don’t be stupid. Have the guard walk you to your car. He’s got a gun (probably, or at least a baton or something like pepper spray. Get over the fact that you can’t look him in the eye because he’s making 1/10 of your salary and have him walk you out if you’re so paranoid about people lurking your car. And invest in a car alarm that doesn’t let people hide in your backseat under a blanket. In fact, get all the blankets out of your car, and start locking your doors. And close the moon roof. You’re just looking for trouble at this point.)

Helen Hunt

Whatever happened to her?

Job Hunt

House hunting, job hunting...At least the house hunt was quick, painless, and successful. With the job hunt, however:

My job hunt is exacerbated by the fact that I currently have the most disheartening and fruitless of internships. Thankfully, it's almost over! I should be careful, they like to fire people for this kind of thing, but my experience here is such that I would never want to step foot in this building ever again. Except, perhaps, to grab some delicious Chinese food or a milkshake. Or unless they hire me (ie, a job here would beat waiting tables...I guess).

In other news, I can't wait to move into the new place Katie and I got in Candler Park!!! I feel that will give me enough inspiration to work independently and prolifically. I really can't wait. I love it and I'm in love.

Also, Nick has me racking my brain for ideas for episodes of The Office. I might have one, but we'll see.

Diner Scenes

I think if you look throughout the history of film, diner scenes often come up. Some are quiet and low-key, e.g. Sydney(1996), and that is rare. That scene offers both expository information, as well as extensive character development. It's a scene that might actually take place in a diner, with the possible exception of the premise leading up to the scene.

For the most part, diner scenes are used for the moment in which the heads of the other patrons pivot quickly to gaze and gawk at our protagonist couple. Pulp Fiction (1994) and obviously When Harry Met Sally...(1989) have these moments, but there's an array of others that you can probably better remember on your own than I could recollect and describe here.

From this, I gather that the scenes in movies set in diners are the most cinematic of stories taking place in that diner right then and there. No other couples in this diner are causing heads to spin. Notice that these diners are always Waffle House type establishments, complete with a bar and all-night hours. They are rarely restaurants--this requires reservations, sometimes fancy dress, and, most importantly, that you show up at a humanly hour. The adventures of our characters have no place for daylight. See Thief (1981) or Swingers (1996) for examples.

In short, diner scenes almost exclusively so that the characters in a film can make a big scene or embarrass themselves. Why is that? I do not find myself in a diner that often. Maybe I'm not very cinematic.

In other news:

Turtles are adorable, when not mutated ninjas and just sex pots. (PUN!)

People have too much/many: time, cats, pictures of cats.

House Hunt

Today's been a loopy one. Riding on the train this morning, all those unprepared with no poles to grip, the train would accelerate forward, and we'd do a one-step-back move in our unscripted dance number. Not entirely unlike that animated Paula Abdul video. You know the one, with the wolf.

My mind is shrouded with a fog cloud, 15% chance of precipitation. I keep stepping into the neighborhoods Katie and I have visited during this whirlwind weekend. I step through the front door, greet the hipster neighbor, calm down the extremely excitable, hyper pug Henry, and plop down on our soft couch. The air outside smells nice, so we go for a walk. Oh, it's so lovely. We're friends with the owners of the local pub, so when we stop in with our pug, he looks at us with his ugly mug and says, Have a pint, but mind the pipsqueak. His name's Harry, I'll say. Or maybe it's Pickle or Dizzy.

Caffeine is a drug I enjoy. It can imbue one with the same effects as other drugs -- euphoria, clarity, hyperactivity, diarrhea. It's great when on the edge of sleep. You can find a pusher on every corner.

The office is busy, shooters abound on V. Tech campus. Very sad day.

Brought to you by the Letter &

Sleep.

I need sleep. My biggest (perhaps only?) flaw is that I fall asleep easily. My early years of college featured many nights of midnight-oil burning. Watch Conan. Watch Adult Swim...the second time it comes on. Imaginations were fueled, life was lazy and swell. I never had this problem.

Now I work and learn and intern. And it sucks. I'm pretty exhausted by the end of most days, but it's odd. I'll fall asleep hanging out with friends, but when I'm by myself, I can vegetate in front of this thing for many extra hours. I think it's the intense concentration; with friends, I'm so very relaxed that I guess I slip into slumber.

Plus, getting up at 4:30 am, when I can hear people across the hall still playing Halo, this also sucks. Some mornings are better than others, like this morning I was able to wake up, convince myself to go to work, take a shower, drink tea, make a sausage, egg Mcmuffin. That's ok, but knowing the world is sleeping wears on one's psyche. I cannot wait for this somnambulistic lifestyle to end.

And onto "and." Basically, my argument is that "word and word" titles for artistic endeavours -- albums, movies, songs -- are pretty accurate indicators of their suckiness. Except Coffee and Cigarettes (2003) or Cigarettes and Coffee (1993). But, for instance, Muse. "Black Holes and Revelations." What a terrible sounding name. Plus, that album is such a disappointment for the band. Exhibit A. "Between Angels and Insects" by Papa Roach and Angels and Airwaves, some shit started by Mark (?) of Blink 182. These names are awful, and the and=crap phenomenon is proven simply by association with these musical institutions. Exhibit B, although an easy target.

And then there's Chutes and Ladders. Did anyone actually have fun with that? Yeah, I did too. My argument has no real merit.

Or does it?!?

Grown-Up Xanga

Xanga had an interesting tenure over the course of my high school and college careers. Now I'm over it. It basically served as an outlet for boyish needs and bad taste. Now I have manish needs and exquisite bad taste. I still have to see Bad Taste (1987).

Now, I'm using Blogger. It's like Ikea, while Xanga, as my friend John Bird always put it (rather astutely, in retrospect), is the Wal-Mart of the internet. Blogger is sleek and round, stylish and modern. Wait, I think John was talking about MySpace. In any case...

I'm excited to have a new blog. It makes sense, as my life is about to change in the next month. Or rather, it's not going to change, but it's going to become what it should already be, but things like school and interning are getting in the way.

My next post will address how the word "And" tends to be a good indicator of the artistic merits of a work. For instance, Rush's upcoming album is entitled "Snakes and Arrows." I was saddened to see this. Rush is also the #1 guilty pleasure. I think that's incorrect, as people who enjoy Rush do not feel guilty and people who would only casually enjoy Rush to the point of guilt would probably not find it pleasurable.