Baron Von Blakula

Five Albums That Shaped Me

2009-03-22T19:57:00.000-07:00

So, I saw this on Facebook, and I figured it was worth talking about here rather than being another nuisance on that increasingly cluttered site.

Really, I'm approaching this as albums that made me rethink how I approach and interact with music. I am cherry-picking here, obviously. I had a lot of shortcomings with regards to taste in high school, so I'm self-editing my own history. But in reality, these albums truly do ring true with a sort of renaissance of discovery during my life, and that not-so-surprisingly coincides with my college years.

While writing this, I quickly discovered that it also happened to be incredibly chronological. This was in no way intentional, but it's interesting how it worked out like that. I guess it's the whole notion of recency vs. relevance. But the older albums have obviously had more staying power. On the whole, these albums were watershed moments that immediately redefined how I viewed music.

5. The Mars Volta - De-loused in the Comatorium
During my freshman year of college, my friend Stephan, in a hazy living room, would play this album ad nauseum. I never knew what Cedric was saying, but the music was so engaging, transporting all of us to a broken down landscape of exoskeleton street cars or whatever he was talking about. It was my first foray into music I had never heard of, as college, and life still today, served as a kiosk for introducing me to unknown music. It was, however, the last album of theirs that I would truly like, but that album still rings of autumn 2003.

4. Sigur Ros - Ágætis Byrjun
After a free screening of The Life Aquatic at the Midtown Art Cinema, I recall being taken aback by the beauty of one of the songs in the film, "that song by that Swedish band" I think I labeled it. Eventually, Katie nudged me towards this album, which became the go-to album for listening to late into the night. I would just sit at my computer, turn the speakers up, and let "Svefn-g-englar" completely envelope and swallow me whole. It was, and still is, wonderful.

3. Broken Social Scene - You Forgot It In People
This was the first 'indie' album I ever had, introduced by my friend Amber, the first cool film student I became friends with. She was, and still is I'm sure, obsessed with this band and Kevin Drew's dreaminess. For me, it was an album that possessed a lot of energy that immediately resonated with me, even if I wasn't fully sure why. The culminating moment occurred when one spring break we all danced to "Anthem for a Seventeen-Year-Old Girl." And then Katie and I saw them live, which just solidified the level of transcendence they enjoyed. "Lover's Spit" is another favorite, so bold and naked and primitive. "I'd like it all that way"

2. Mastodon - Blood Mountain
I never thought I would listen to music with a bunch of screaming in it, but that's kind of what happened. I'm pretty sure Wesley introduced me to Mastodon while we were living together. Then, this album came out, and I distinctly remember listening to it on my iPod, walking through Midtown, when I realized that I fucking loved every second of it. The screaming was not just some indicator of genre or ploy for manipulating the listener; it was an asset being utilized, a layer of music on top of everything else, augmenting the emotion that exists in their writing and exposing it. But mostly, their music just sounds really fucking cool, and I am super proud that they're from Atlanta. And I totally met the guitarist at Kroger.

1. Of Montreal - Hissing Fauna, Are You the Destroyer?
I think I have Julian to thank for this one. I honestly thought, before writing this post, that this album came out in 2006, but I guess that's just how memory plays with us. This album feels like it's been with me for a lot longer than a mere early 2007 release, and I think that can be attributed to the fact that it basically provides the soundtrack to so many of my memories of East Atlanta and the Blake house. The incredible pop sensibilities mixed with the powerful storytelling (the semi-coherent kind lacking from their latest, but anyway) was something that clicked with me right away. I understood exactly what Barnes and co. were doing with this, and every facet works. Every transition, juxtaposition, whim, and contradiction feels perfectly aligned here. Not to mention that a lot of what he goes through over the course of the album rang true with a lot of how I felt. I'd never really connected with a musician through what they were exactly trying to say. That's probably why Weird Al spoke to me more than anything else growing up.

Almost made it: Mogwai - Mr. Beast/Rock Action; Explosions in the Sky - The Earth is Not a Cold, Dead Place; Clap Your Hands Say Yeah self-titled; The National - Boxer; M83 - Saturdays=Youth; and anything by The New Pornographers.

Actually doing

2009-03-21T21:32:00.000-07:00

Had some incredible epiphanies tonight. Most people would rather strive towards a goal than actually get there. Wanting to do happens more than actually doing. In Paul Thomas Anderson's words, we're all too concerned with building the boat when we could just be building the boat. I think in a way people set themselves up to constantly be headed towards their goal instead of actually achieving it. They don't want people to tell them how good they are, they just want to dream about that (maybe because dreaming can last longer). It's sort of what the American dream is founded, the idea, the notion, that you could get to the top. What happens when we get to the top? We could be told we're great or that we suck, and we'll fall right back down. We cushion ourselves from the acme of success, we're always struggling.

I hope the same sense of profundity sticks with me. I can't just write this off in some practical way.

Imaginary Stimulus

2009-02-17T17:26:00.000-08:00

So, I've been trying to get into the habit of writing this year, and it hasn't happened yet. I haven't been good about setting aside time everyday, like Anne Lemott tells us, or even Martin Amis. I've gotten some time freed up now, but it seems to go to other endeavors (like blogging. Pfft, if only I were that diligent). I've been carrying a notebook, and that does help. I get a few funny jokes in there. I have thought of a few good ideas but none in solitude.

Which makes me wonder. Most of the good jokes/ideas I've ever come up with are in the presence of someone, be it during conversation and joking around or being inspired suddenly by a combination of words that set your mind a-wondering. When I wrote by myself in college, weed often played a role in getting my mind wandering and thinking. But then again, as Julian and Dr. Boozer could tell you, my screenplay sophomore year sucked horribly. I think what I take away from the experience is not that my ideas were so bad, but I just need to practice the craft itself.

The structure of school definitely helped. Being able to boast that I wrote 60 pages of a screenplay is one thing; reading it is another. The idea of turning in assignments, being forced to create, for better or worse, at least got me writing. Nabil and I came up with the idea of pitching each other ideas, and that in itself was a great exercise. Do we want to write any of those ideas? Not necessarily, but it's getting those areas of the brain lit up (if we ever had scans, I'm sure there would be some blah blah blah going on).

But there's a lesson in there. Discipline, practice, honing one's abilities. Having been good at school, you get used to being good at everything the first time around, because you can fake your way through the motions of a lot of things. Film papers are like this. You read one article, you can really wrap your head around the diction and lingo and write like a critic. I've been wanting to read screenplays of films I've admired for a while, but the problem is most of them are shooting scripts, lacking the rough quality of a piece of literature and containing camera movements. But then again, I've never bothered to read those either, so my objections are pointless.

Katie and I, along with some of her lovely family, are going to the beach on Thursday. I'm going to set aside some time (hopefully) and flesh out one idea I've had for a while now. And nothing too intensive, just thinking about some characters and coming up with some story ideas. But this brings me back to my original point: what can I really come up with on my own? I'm still trying to figure all of that out. I guess it's the fear of not having an immediate audience to judge whether your idea is good or not. When talking with friends, you can sense that approval, and you have the confidence to move forward with that idea. On your own, that's another story.

Top Ten Films of 2008

2009-02-10T15:25:00.000-08:00

1. Revolutionary Road - What a powerful film. Maybe it's because I'm young, recently married, and thinking about my own future that this film was so painful for me. Kate cements herself as possibly the best actress working, and Leo finally gets a role that impressed me. I mean, he's coming off the screen at certain points, it's incredible to watch. Sam Mendes has crafted some transcendent cinema.

2. The Wrestler - This is Darren Aronofsky. There's been plenty said about how this film is a complete change of pace for him, and I think it's wonderful to see that behind all of his incredible ambition, he's got that passion and talent for, yes, a wrestling movie. I mean, what seemed at first like a joke (going from The Fountain to a wrestling picture), now he's gotten his actor nominated and he's even fighting to get wrestlers SAG protection. I love how small, bare, and unpretentious this film is.

3. Tropic Thunder - I never ever would've thought that such a big summer comedy would make it on here, but I was really surprised. Not only is it hilarious, but it's a good film too! Robert Downey Jr. is a fucking genius, despite his idiotic opinions about Iron Man and The Dark Knight, but whatever. It's such a wonderful satire, this movie was the stupid kind of funny without being stupid.

4. The Dark Knight - Duh, this was just awesome.

5. Pineapple Express - Much like Tropic Thunder, this was another comedy that I didn't think I would love so much. It's a stoner comedy without being stupid. Another film in which a director, David Gordon Green, applies his talent to something completely different, and pulls it off wonderfully. The escalating absurd action here is done so well.

6. Let the Right One In - Best vampire movie ever. It's scary and brutal and raw, which are all magnified by a billion because it's about children.

7. Speed Racer - Yeah, that's right. This movie was so much fun and visually amazing. The critics just jumped on the bandwagon. The Wachowskis really innovate here with really cool fight scenes and badass races.

8. Doubt - Yeah, this was good too. The acting's great, I'm not crazy about it. But it was good. If it were a better year, this probably wouldn't be here.

9. Synecdoche, NY - I've thought about this film a lot since seeing it, but I still think it was a bit of a miss for Kaufman as far as directing goes. The ideas behind the film are compelling, and it's really funny in spots.

10. Loaded Guns: The Movie - Um, hell yeah this is here. If you made a movie, wouldn't you put in your own top ten? This is way funnier than any other bullshit that came out this year and way more interesting that Benjamin Button or whatever other crap got nominated. I stand by this film.

Academy Award nominees

2009-01-23T06:52:00.000-08:00

I cannot believe how boring and worthless the Academy Award nominees are this year. I mean, normally it's not without its share of awful choices, and I haven't seen The Reader or Frost/Nixon, but it seems like they were especially negligent in their decision-making this time around. Revolutionary Road (which I will write about at length soon) got some attention at the Golden Globes, which normally fails at generally any standard of taste, and here it's totally snubbed except for one category - Best Supporting Actor. This is the one category that actually makes sense and brings attention to some amazing roles.

Josh Brolin in Milk really stole the fucking show, and Michael Shannon is incredible in Revolutionary Road. I think it's goofy but awesome that Robert Downey Jr. got nominated, because he was so good playing the multiple roles in Tropic Thunder. It's funny because he's playing the Australian actor who brings weight to the movie in the movie, but Downey actually does anchor the picture with his talent and elevates it beyond what could be just watching someone do a goofy impersonation (e.g. Tom Cruise).

If the rest of the nominees had been like this one category, we'd have an interesting year. But we don't, and I'm not going to watch 3-4 hours of Benjamin goddamned Button clips.

I have a goal for this year

2009-01-16T07:28:00.000-08:00

(Edit: Fantastic Fest would be amazing, too. I knew I was forgetting another Austin festival. Much cheaper than SXSW.)

I would love to go to a film festival. Preferably SXSW, which would also fulfill visiting Austin this year. I just realized Sundance started and I had totally thought about going this time last year. SXSW would be great.

If I had five cities to go to this year, they'd be:

Austin
Chicago
Washington, D.C.
San Fransisco
Asheville
(New York, again)

What's in store

2009-01-15T11:24:00.000-08:00

2009 is a very vague year. New president, yeah, of course. 2007 was the year of graduation, 2008 was the year of getting married. This year is blank and unwritten. It's a year without expectation, that's going to carve itself into whatever it is and be defined by that. Promise, yeah, but not the scary kind. When...

Sorry, just had an awkward conversation with a coworker. I was in a good headspace, but I guess he wasn't ready for candor and a tinge of mania. Anyway.

When you have a bit of motivation, I guess you just go and see what you can do.

I noticed I did better reading than keeping up with music last year, and even better than I did with movies (which I'm still catching up on). I feel like I'm on course to get those three balanced, which'd be grand. I don't think we ever stop being students, which is pretty obvious. For me, all of this is about enrichment. I don't want to go back to school, because the discovering is the fun part. Going out and feeling it out. Your friends are your teachers, introducing you to something new and explaining it. And teaching yourself is a lot of fun, too.

2009 has an air of freedom to it; we can really do whatever we want. Things feel new. I'm about to finish Money by Martin Amis. I'll finish it on the bus ride home. It definitely swirved and avoided where I thought it was going. Animal Collective's Merriweather Post Pavillion has that new feeling to it. And these shootings, yeah, they're new territory as well.

Best of 2008

2009-01-01T08:31:00.000-08:00

This has taken about two days to write. A lot to account for in such an epic year. Personally, it's been the craziest year ever, planning a wedding and getting married to my best friend, creating my first feature film, electing a president and so forth. Anyway.

Events:
- joined Twinhead
- went to New Zealand
- tornado hit our future neighborhood (I was in East Atlanta and drove through rubble to get Katie)
- made Loaded Guns: The Movie
- moved to Cabbagetown
- Donkey Punch
- first and best vacation ever with Katie's family
- Twinhead's 5th
- Wedding!
- Honeymoon in Paris
- started at Aurora
- elected Barack Obama president
- ran 26:55 at Romp and Stomp
- Choose Your Adventure

Places:
- Los Angeles
- Auckland and Christchurch, New Zealand
- Charleston and Isle of Palms, South Carolina
- Paris, France
- Blue Ridge, GA

CDs (faves near the top):
- Fleet Foxes self-titled
- TV on the Radio - Dear Science,
- Sigur Ros - Með Suð Í Eyrum Við Spilum Endalaust
- Deerhunter - Microcastles (funny, I didn't realize the LP I got for Katie had Weird Era Cont. inside of it. The friggin disc is thinner than Bradford Cox (what a hip joke))
- MGMT - Oracular Spectacular
- Mountain Goats - Heretic Pride

Books:
- Harry Potter and the
-Prisoner of Azkaban
-Goblet of Fire
-Order of the Phoenix
-Half-Blood Prince
-Deathly Hallows
- Turn of the Screw
- Watchmen
- The Road

Movies...I haven't come close to seeing the films I wanted to see from last year. For now, I will just list my favorites that I did off the top of my head, in a rough order:
- The Dark Knight
- Pineapple Express
- Tropic Thunder
- Doubt

That's really about it, sadly. This year is not so hot for smaller films, but I have to say that it's the first time ever I've listed, and will probably keep, films as broad and mainstream as The Dark Knight, Pineapple Express, and Tropic Thunder, not because I've been an ass before, but because these kinds of movies were finally good!

Overall, I did slightly better keeping up with music and did incredibly better reading this year. I'm really proud of the amount of reading I did, but looking back it doesn't seem like so much. However, these are all seriously vast improvements over the last few years. I can't see going backwards in 2009, but only doing better. If anything I lagged a little in the film department, but I did rent a fair amount this year. Let's not forget, I was also planning a wedding.

Films have been a bit off this year, but who knows what I'll think after I see Frost/Nixon, Revolutionary Road, The Reader, Valkyrie, Snow Angels (on dvd), Let the Right One In, I've Loved You So Long, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, The Wrestler, and maybe Slumdog Millionaire and Gran Torino. Still seems weak, weak, weak. Music was incredibly good, with some solid releases from some faves and some amazing debuts (Fleet Foxes and MGMT). I wish I could've heard more, but I'm glad I'm actually staying current and not playing catch-up like in years past. I'm looking forward to the new Mastodon album, which is already sounding obtuse and wonderful.

I was really happy with everything I read. "Turn of the Screw" was a bit boring, but still worth reading some classic text. I absolutely loved HP and "The Road" and "Watchmen," all amazing experiences. I'm looking forward to next year's slate which includes:

- The Audacity of Hope
- John Adams
- Outliers
- The Last Lecture

I hope to squeeze in a few classics that I managed to avoid reading in high school, like Great Expectations. Anyway, here's to a great year.

The shape of things to come

2008-12-28T20:16:00.000-08:00

I wonder what we could all achieve if we just focused on it.

In a strange confluence of events, being slightly drunk and having just watched Dazed and Confused for the first time, I'm finding myself in an incredibly reflective mood. I think to the times of achievement in my life, getting into GHP, getting in shape, making certain films, and at some of those times, I was incredibly focused. More focused than ever, thinking back. Not that robot obsessed kind, but just really involved in whatever was at hand.

Today, I sometimes find myself so scattered that I tend to fall back into vices to compensate, e.g. eating too much, not reading enough, drinking too much, not running. What if I really tried? Why do our minds, or maybe it's just some people, stop focusing on what we want? I got Katie the latest from Malcolm Gladwell, Outliers. In yet another book where he breaks the macro level down to a sort of broadened mechanism, he talks about success and those who achieve and those who don't. I can't wait to read it. The topic fascinates me right now. We have the ability to possess incredible focus, and yet we don't always...why?

What occupies my mind these days? Wanting to be wont. I need to do. Why not? I've not been exhausted from doing a lot of nothing, so I should do more. Do until I'm well into my own mind. I'm not sharp, I've been doing badly at crosswords lately.

My mind is screaming at me to write. Katie's indulged that by getting me some notepads to carry in my back pocket. If only I had a pen. But there are always pens. No more excuses, eh? No more fast food, boozin', brushing aside. I've been reading Money by Martin Amis (courtesy of ol' Stephan two years ago at Secret Santa), and the character of John Self is excess incarnate. And it gets in your blood. You have to be careful. I think I've definitely gained weight since I've started reading that book. But it's gotten to the point where he acknowledges that he should be dead, and I have to reassess what's in my life.

I'm 24 now. Young, aging, full of aspiration, nothing concrete yet. Gotta give all of this a shot, may as well be disciplined. I think the best compliment I've gotten lately was that a coworker mistakenly thought I was still in school, because I was so, how did she put it? I can't remember. It was either "studious", "disciplined", or "driven", but I think it was either none or any of those, and I want to keep up those appearances.

I think by Wednesday I will have my new annual tradition of lists. I can't wait.

Blogs don't age

2008-12-14T18:49:00.000-08:00

So this is foreign, writing on here again. I've finally posted all of those blog posts I did over at CHUD. Getting married, it's overwhelming, and that being overwhelmed seems to seep into everything and carry on for a while. We're still recovering from the whole thing, trying to slow down. I think it's getting better.

About those CHUD posts. They are definitely geared towards that audience, so there's probably a bit more cursing and direct references to the site, which isn't that good. I've never understood it's organization and layout, though some of the writers are pretty good. And I thought the whole gig was sweet at first, but then I quickly realized that I was one of many, many goateed film geeks with nothing to do but blog all day. They all have really bad pictures, I just don't get it. These guys don't understand what makes a good picture, and they can't write either. Anyway, my point was that my style's a little bit different in those posts, which I've retro dated so they're fitting with the chronology of the year. I forgot about a lot of those movies I saw. I guess that's why blogs are good.

I think I've also returned here to collect thoughts. Time moves quickly, and thoughts and ideas and zeitgeists get lost in that rigmarole. I look back fondly at the recap of last year I did. So I wanted to make sure I get situated on here to do that again. The number of movies I have to see is growing as the awards season approaches. If I hurry, I'll see everything that's currently in theaters worth seeing.

Christmas is fast approaching, and since it's the Hawkins-Gaars' first Christmas, we're trying to generate some traditions. We took a walk to view the sparse lights and decorations in Cabbagetown, but it was lovely nonetheless. I'm going to figure out how to make cookies from scratch this week. We have Secret Santa coming up, which is quite a lovely tradition of its own. We need more holiday cocktails around the house.

The strange thing about the passage of time is that you forget what doesn't change. The chalkboard in our kitchen, for example. It had the same message on it for a long time, and I just erased it and now it's great again. New ideas, things to do, new colors and messages. For a while, it just started to blend into the wall. And when I clean up, I often don't clean what needs it the most, whatever's been so unaffected for so long that it doesn't even register. Like my drawer in my nightstand. I just emptied it the other day, uncloseably full of books. And there were receipts in there from last Christmas. We have to make sure we affect what's important or we'll forget it's there. Our bodies are part of that too. We just get into eating habits and get used to our bodies without thinking of changing them. Our minds, too. We have to explore new avenues or we'll forget to. Constant care and attention. That's the only way to make time slow down.

This blog is a good example of that. I'm glad to jumpstart it again. I'm excited about talking the new music I've been catching up on lately. And the films, once I actually see them. We just saw Milk. It was good, not great though. And we FINALLY saw the Lives of Others, which Santa brought last year. I still have movies from three, four Christmases ago to watch. Those DVD shelves need some attention.

CHUD: Revisiting Sideways

2008-09-12T18:48:00.000-07:00

To be brief, I have not blogged in a long time because I am getting married. I will probably not blog for another three weeks. You understand.

In any case, a night of drinking and needing something to not really pay attention to, we decided on Sideways, a curious film by Alexander Payne. My favorite of Payne's work is his short that concludes Paris Je t'aime, for its incredible honesty and empathy. I haven't watched Sideways since before I was of legal age to drink, so three years later, it's quite the film to revisit, in terms of oenophilia and maturity.

The vernacular and vocabulary of the film is fun to be reacquainted with, both through times of pretension and legitimate understanding. I can see his obsession with the fruit and flavor and the other sensual qualities offered from wine. But at the same time, I found myself perpetually annoyed by Miles. His character is incredibly pathetic, and his authority as a connoisseur of wine really provides his only outlet in which he excels: his intelligence. He has the capacity to expound and pontificate, but he only teaches English to 8th graders. How much authority does he really have?

Additionally, Payne as a filmmaker treads both insight and cliche. The awful montage of Miles and Jack visiting vineyards before getting to Buellton reeks of middle-aged guffawing, crappy lounge music and split-screened kooky imagery. And yet, the scene where Jack, Miles, Maya, and Stephanie have dinner contains poetry, an ode to a night of belabored drinking. Miles indulges into self-pity through each glass of wine, only to dissolve through numbness to make a telephone call to his ex-wife. It's a profound sequence and insightfully executed. It's the drunkest cinema because it has the most clarity.

Cheater

2008-08-19T09:33:00.000-07:00

Yes, sorry Blogspot. I've been cheating on you with CHUD. I'm going to repost all those film reviews I've been doing here. I'm kind of sick of writing them.

After reading some of the older posts, I'm impressed with how well written some of them have been. I'm going to have to post a recap of things soon. For posterity.

CHUD: Man on Wire - There is no "why"

2008-08-08T18:47:00.000-07:00

I'll begin by alleviating any curiosity that Man on Wire is somehow a play on Man on Fire. It is not. The phrase "man on wire" is what's used in the police report under "Details" for Philippe Petit's trespassing and disturbing the peace charges. The buzz of the world that day, no more details needed to be given as to who this man was.

Man on Wire details Petit's illegal feat of walking a tightrope between the World Trade Center towers in 1974. Petit himself was destined to be in a documentary: a fucking rocket blasting off, animated, passionate, charismatic, driven. American Movie and Rock School come to mind with their idiosyncratic protagonists, except here, Petit is incredibly self-aware, having had his life to reflect on his passion. He's able to examine his life in the most objective of ways, and share his story with brutal honestly and whimsy all at once.

The film boasts an incredible amount of stock footage, which is combined with impeccably shot reenactments. In fact, the quality of stock footage is such that it was actually confusing for a moment in figuring out if this was Petit or an incredible look-alike. It's amazing that they documented so much of their progress at the time, and only more amazing is the condition and quality of the work.

Petit describes planning "le coup" as tantamount to a bank robbery; his girlfriend at the time recalls him watching endless heist films into the night. And indeed, director James Marsh very clearly sets out to envision this. His reenactments are, again, immaculate, with several shots recalling the camerawork from a Kubrick or Paul Thomas Anderson film. There's immediacy and danger to these scenes, and Marsh fuses the animated urgency of Petit's storytelling (as well as other members of the group) with the black and white images to create very tense retellings. But there's also a great deal of comedy and whimsy that all seemed to be part of the plan.

The film never loses sight of the poetry of what Petit accomplished. There is weight and finality once it's accomplished, an understanding that something so great has just happened, that the way things were could never be the same. These people all gravitated towards this one singular moment, which occurred before the world, and what else is left? When you finish a book, there is a sense of loss, and in this same way, when Man on Wire ends, you feel as if this apex of achievement ended a lot of friendships and relationships. People had to move on.

I commented to my friend after it was over that the story itself was so great and spectacular that the movie just had to tell it well to be great itself. The story stays with you more than the film itself, but I'm trying not be ungrateful by keeping in my mind that the film was great as well.

CHUD: The Wackness

2008-07-29T18:44:00.000-07:00

I tend to not pay attention to Sundance as it happens. It hurts too much, knowing I can’t be there. I’ve never been, but I would love to.

So, the only film I’d really heard about coming out of Park City was The Wackness and some movie about a Cuban playing baseball, or something like that. Good reviews and buzz and a blurb on an NPR podcast etched the film in the back of my mind. So, one lazy Saturday morning, I ventured off to the nearest matinee showing.

Eh, it’s…it’s alright.

I feel like the one word to describe the film is uneven. But the film’s so well written at times, and nothing feels forced. It’s a shame it gets so much right, except the film couldn’t handle its own whimsy.

There are few moments of real whim that call attention to themselves, but when they arrive, they’re great. Josh Peck is absolutely awesome in the role, as he holds back too much at times and expresses too much at others. He’s incredibly convincing, and reminded so much of someone I’d met once before that it felt that much more grounded. And the moments when his character, Luke Shapiro, dictates to dance on the pavement like Michael Jackon’s “Billie Jean” video, you buy it and love it as it happens.

But the film never really finds that balance with the rest of itself. Dialogue steeped in the mundane, the poetics of teenage angst (although it calls itself on it; “That was real cheesy, what you said back there,” Ben Kingsley admits), musings on the era. That’s my other chief complaint: the film is set in 1994, and boy does it never cease to remind us. A Forrest Gump ad on a bus was all I needed, and the Cobain references and Notorious B.I.G. soundtrack works, but it crosses the line, I think, when Kingsley, having been spotted by the cops smoking a joint, pumps the pumps on his Reeboks.

But the film is raw in its truths and efforts, and I feel like it worked rather well most of the time. It’s funny and touching and knows its subject matter.

Now, I’m off to see The Dark Knight again, though I suppose I will have to atone for this later.

CHUD: The Dark Knight

2008-07-23T18:42:00.000-07:00

What with the near unanimous acclaim, what else can be really said about this film? I know that I need to see it at least two more times – once to take in all the details one more time, the other to bask in its 70mm IMAX glory. Which brings me to my first point…

Devin’s recent words on the film revolve around how well it did, and the seemingly gross amount of viewings fanboys took in over the weekend. His more cogent points revolved around people seeing this film multiple times rather than using those repeat trips to the cinema to watch something new, like an indie film.

That doesn’t make much sense. For one, an audience’s enthusiasm for a film that is actually good is kind of refreshing. I’ve often had similar thoughts to Devin where I think, “Why would ANYONE go see House of Wax when those funds could be given to me, fledgling filmmaker extraordinaire?” But The Dark Knight is actually quite the landmark, and, despite his rating, his review seemed to loathe many aspects of the film.

Now, I will not begin a rebuttal to his veritable dissertation on the film. It’s a very good review, and definitely had me rethink some of my initial feelings, but I doubt I’ll flip-flop on how much I loved this film. I mean, this movie had my friends and I completely blown away, and these aren’t sycophantic comic book droolers (though they do love comics, Harry Knowles they are not). We respect good, well-told cinema.

We are the ones seeing those films Devin would rather us see. But we get just as excited about There Will Be Blood on its opening day as we do The Dark Knight.

Please, see The Dark Knight. It’s a good film and, though it’s raking in the cash, it fucking deserves it.

CHUD: The Happening - Gone with the wind

2008-07-07T18:41:00.000-07:00

This isn't so much a review of M. Night Shyamalan's most recent effort -- 'effort' is either sarcastic or ironic, take your pick -- as it is a eulogy to the man himself. The Happening is the nail in a coffin with many, many nails trying to seal it shut. In a way, I must have a sixth sense, because I do see dead people. It's you, M. Night Shyamalan. Well, your career, that is.

The Happening features a mysteeeerious airborne something that causes large groups of people to stop and kill themselves. The first sign is that it makes you talk in complete nonsense. Shyamalan's script is brilliant in that you are on the edge of your seat the entire film, wondering if the babble their speaking is the first sign that they're going to kill themselves, or if it's just more of the atrocious dialogue that's going to make me kill myself.

Wahlberg's performance is by now notorious for how stilted it is, but, you know, the forever cute Zooey Deschanel is honestly just as horrible here, riding the line between witty/sexy and fucking stupid. Wahlberg's science teacher is probably the most unevenly written character of all time, next to Zooey's. And John Leguizamo bites it with his one-dimensional shtick as a math teacher. Maybe that would have been a good advertising campaign for this film: "THE HAPPENING - Now in 1-D!"

When did it happen, though? This new kid comes along, as we all know, and The Sixth Sense knocks it out of the park. He's able to write character, insightful back story, and delicate relationships, all of which are moving and entertaining. And then, around Signs, he gets a douchebag haircut*, starts using wide-angle lenses for dramatic close-ups, and suddenly he's incapable of writing any humor into his script that isn't ham-fisted. This time, however, he completely fists himself with impeccably bizarre attempts -- efforts -- that have Wahlberg call himself a douchebag and the already infamous scene where he talks to a houseplant.

The sad part is that it's obvious what he was trying to do. The guy's consistent. He has these actors speaking throughout the film in this quiet, mannered way. Some directors understand acting and how to direct actors to achieve a mannered performance, but David Mamet he is not. He seems to be aping that austere, sublime quality from other films, but in the process he has completely ignored his characters and his actors.

You really have to see it for yourself. It's audacious and relentless in how unthought out it is.

And in a way, an M. Night script is kind of like the airborne ailment in The Happening. It comes along, no one's sure what it is. It makes his actors speak gobbledygook, producers walk/bend over backwards for him, and then they all kill themselves.

Their careers, that is.

*I'm not sure when he got this haircut, this is just speculation.

CHUD: Wall-E

2008-07-01T18:40:00.000-07:00

All I’d really heard about this film before I saw it was that the beginning was nearly silent, no dialogue. People love to point this out (such as with There Will Be Blood or 2001: A Space Odyssey, to which this movie pays considerable homage), which is funny given the origins of animation, and film for that matter.

They were all silent in the beginning, and I think Wall-E was so refreshing for me it embraces those basic elements of visual storytelling. We’re given so much to look at in Wall-E’s world he’s created, and that’s what makes him so charming – he’s creative and unique and enjoys his world, despite no one being there to enjoy it with him.

Wall-E looks a lot like Johnny 5 from Short Circuit, but watching the film, he really resembles and has more in common with E.T. The innocence, curiosity, earnestness, and self-sacrifice. He’s easy-going about it all, too. If you break his eye, he’ll just replace it with a new one.

I loved Ratatouille, and, upon seeing this, I started to wonder if I had just seen my favorite Pixar film. Of course, it immediately hit me that it’s completely unfair. Ratatouille is more complex, more sophisticated, but that arises from the story. Remy rides the line between the art of creation and pretense. Wall-E’s life is grand and simple, but the implications of his adventure are, as Remy would say, very important.

Ratatouille revolves around the growth of the individual, while Wall-E contrasts the minimalist life he leads with the grandeur of restarting humanity. It’s amazing how Pixar creates such fulfilling stories on any scale. And most of their films deal with pint-sized characters filling very big shoes, but I guess that is what makes it that powerful.

Wall-E is just amazing. He's so cute, you will probably cry. It's hilarious and poignant, and the copious 2001 references weren't so subtle but absolutely brilliant.

After existing in that wonderful environment for two hours, we felt as if we had landed on another planet when we left the theater.

CHUD: Across the Junoverse

2008-06-23T18:38:00.000-07:00

I was just checking out Harry's list of DVDs on AICN, and on the cover of Charlie Bartlett , it says, "Like 'Juno' -- It's a movie with big laughs and a lot of heart. A clever crazy comedy!"

OK, so nobody's heard of that movie, yeah I can see drawing a comparison to Juno to draw some people in. But then there, on the fucking cover of Persepolis, "Marjane is a sass queen to rival 'Juno!'"

For fuck's sake!

I forgot, Diablo Cody, first sass queen to ever live, finally enabled women, including Marjane Satrapi, to have acerbic wit and quirk! Good thing she broke down those barriers for Satrapi, whose book published four years before Juno.

CHUD: Iron Man sucked. Sex and the City...not so bad.

2008-06-14T18:37:00.000-07:00

I know. Fuck me, right?

Some history: when you have a huge crush on someone, and she's got this show she really wants you to watch on her couch, you don't say no. So goes my experience with Sex and the City.

I've seen most of the series. Two-thirds, at least. I'd miss a few episodes, get the quick recap -- "Oh, she got pregnant. And then had the baby." or "Ron Livingston is her boyfriend?" -- and be prepared to join the pun-filled mania. As far as the series goes, it's a total love-hate relationship. I will just as often yell "Fuck you!" at the screen when they do something stupid or indulge in cute wordplay as I will cry or laugh. Mostly it's just nods of approval tagged with a smile. "Alright, that joke didn't suck." The show eventually developed into something pretty strong and watchable, with the occasional suicide-inducing zinger thrown in.

After an entire weekend of sold-out shows, we (me and the lovely lady I had a crush on those years ago) finally got to see it on Sunday. The movie is in a difficult position with critics (and men) because it really is just a continuation of the series. It's not going to stand alone. You need that history. It tries to play catch up and clue everyone in, but really it would not work on its own. It's a flaw embedded into the movie, and that's how it goes.

The movie is basically Season 6 Part III. It's just as long as another half-season and plays like one. The story encompasses about a year when it's over. Carrie's storyline is fucking huge and over-the-top, but them's the stakes with Big. Miranda surprisingly doesn't get nearly as much sympathy for what happens to her (not trying to give anything away here). Charlotte has her usual uber white fantasy tale, and Samantha leads the pack with a narrative about coming to terms with who you are and giving up what you love to be fulfilled. For being the most shallow character, she has the deepest realization to make.

Every mother fucker out there bitches about the length of this movie. Well, I actually thought it was too short. By the time the ending comes around, they're rushing through tying up all these storylines that we've invested 2+ hours in. If I'm going to sit through five goddamned fashion montages, I want my endings fully realized. It could have been at least ten minutes longer. However...

Academy Award winner Jennifer Hudson should've been dropped altogether (by the way, 'academy' so does not look like a word right now...aca-demy, weird). Completely worthless, and in fact Carrie would've been a much stronger person if she had taken care of the whole mess and handled it herself. It would've been much more interesting to see her overcome what happens on her own, but instead we get a bunch of puns about Louise from St. Louis. Great.

Speaking of useless assistants, let's get to Iron Man, the movie critics love to love because it doesn't suck.

I went with my friend Julian, and we didn't hate it while we were watching it. I laughed a few times. It was visually stunning to watch. But as he put it, "Oh good, a Marvel movie where the hero goes up against some sort of bizarro version of himself." We quickly realized that we were actually really bored by the whole thing. I mean, how long can we sit there and watch this asshole build a suit??

I have no idea why critics are blowing their load over this movie. The dialogue? It sounds like the snappy sort of dialogue from his other films of late, like Kiss Kiss Bang Bang or even Zodiac. It's almost like the role was written with Downey's previous roles in mind, therefore bringing nothing new to the table!

Tony Stark seems to value human life but has no problems battling a Big Lebowski on a busy highway. By the way, why would they stage yet another fight on a busy highway?? It's been done countless times, why couldn't they think of anything more creative than slamming cars around?!

And what is the story of this movie anyway? He just builds the suit and then gets into a fight. There is nothing cerebral at all going on here. The most insulting part is that they are trying to act like there is a story, when there isn't. A movie like 300 has no story and knows it. And that is perfectly fine.

And Gwyneth Paltrow provides one of the stupidest Moneypenny characters ever. For being one of the two females in the film (one Stark fucks and tosses), it's not exactly a step forward for womankind. She provides coy sexual tension for Stark and fucking literally prances around in high heels, even when an electrical explosion of lightning bolts are heading right toward her. Helpless isn't even descriptive enough.

I did really like Jeff Bridges, though.

That's really the beginning of a rather huge summer full of supposedly awesome movies. I'm still rather excited, although I skipped Speed Racer because of the awful reviews, and I've yet to see Indiana Jones. Not hearing good things about that either.

I just can't wait for The Dark Knight and Pineapple Express.

CHUD: I'm going to make you watch this goddamned movie.

2008-06-09T18:36:00.000-07:00

So, I'm in this theater company, and after rehearsals someone inevitably asks: "What movie are we going to watch?" This question becomes a taxing debate and leads to an interminable weighing of options. Seriously, we once spent 15 minutes deciding whether to watch House of Wax (with the Hottie) or Gregg Araki's Smiley Face (most of the group had already seen this). Some sort of improvised democratic process went into play, and, unfortunately for cinema, we went with the former.

And in these conversations, interjections of "You haven't seen this or that?!" come into play so frequently that an idea was spawned: get together, sit down, and let me show you this goddamned movie already. Each person would have the chance to show two films they personally felt were important and absolutely had to be seen. We all have our own personal list of greats and classics we haven't seen, a list we would surely trade for that ever-growing list of films we had the misfortune of seeing.

This new programming format comes with responsibility. Do you show that classic film that's important to filmdom, or the film that made you step back and reevaluate everything? Seven Samurai or The Idiots? Which is which, really? I have been treated to a handful of films so far, including Showgirls and The American Astronaut. Seeings Showgirls without the static blur of free cable transmissions was its own reward. And the mania and love behind The American Astronaut connected me with that film in a very primitive way.

I plan on screening two documentaries, Hoop Dreams and King of Kong, two films about chasing dreams that really impacted me. We only have a four-hour window to show whatever we want, but I think I can be forgiven. But, can we be forgiven for having watched House of Wax over Smiley Face? Are we doing all of this to atone for that mistake?

No, I mean for fuck's sake we watched Showgirls.

Get it right

2008-05-14T07:31:00.001-07:00

First of all, there is a glaring error in this article. I believe the scenario in question is from "Home Alone 2: Lost in New York" and not the first film.

Oh, they were 'immigrants'

Secondly, MARTA needs to either be CONSISTENTLY LATE and never early or always early. It fucks me up when I go to wait at the bus stop and the bus never shows up. The paranoia begins, and I wonder whether the bus is going to be incredibly late (likely) or if I actually missed it by mere seconds because it was -- gasp! -- early. I hate MARTA.

Coming up

2008-04-28T09:03:00.000-07:00

Wedding
President
Duplex
Paris
Film Festivals
Jobs
PS3

The 5th of April

2008-04-09T06:24:00.001-07:00

So April 5th, as I have described it to people, was both the most stressful and the best day ever. Stress doesn't even begin to describe the great feeling that the universe was trying to stop us. I wouldn't be surprised if a big black smoke monster showed up to course-corrected our asses.

It all began on Saturday morning, which was really just a continuation of the somnambulistic night before (I got maybe an hour and a half of sleep). I was trying to get some sound tweaked in Final Cut Pro (our editing software for those unaware), and the sound would not do what I was telling it to do. Angered, I yelled to the heavens, "Stupid goddamn fucking Final Cut fucking Pro!" BOOM. A transformer in the distance exploded, the power went out. Our hard drives, computer, open file, everything was at risk of being completely lost. We had a meeting at the Plaza Theatre at 1:00 pm to test our projector and our footage for any last minute changes. The power went out at 11:45.

Without hesitating, we quickly unplugged and packed up Eli's monstrous computer (a contingency we had eerily discussed the day before as a near impossibility) and hauled it to Julian's house. By the way, it was kind of raining. And when we got there, Eli's monitor was acting up. Minor details aside, we exported the file as planned, which took half an hour, loaded everything up and drove the Plaza. Upon getting there, we quickly realized that had forgotten an important cable and a laptop that would work with the projector. Julian rushed back to the house and came back thirty minutes later. We hooked everything up around 1:55 pm (we had to be out by 2:30), and....! The projector was a piece of shit.

Every color, detail, whites, darks, all were turned to a murky cesspool of amateur-looking shit. Brights were too bright, darks too dark, colors would eat up other colors, nuances were completely lost. It was devastating. We had worked so hard and at the fucking final hour, everything might have been for nothing. We started working out other contingencies, among them borrowing a 300 pound projector from a friend, renting a projector from some unknown location, and drinking spiked Kool-Aid while wearing sweat pants and Nikes.

Long story short, we went and bought an HD projector from Best Buy, based on recommendations from several tech-savvy friends. This turned out to be the best decision of the entire, the decision that we were apparently course-corrected into. The image was absolutely perfect, it could not have been any better. With that out of the way, we were able to enjoy our tremendous effort to make the audience laugh and awkward. It was a wonderful experience, marred only by Diana's rump sitting on the DVD player during "Promote!" Luckily, it was my DVD player, so I know when it's powered off, it will restart exactly where it was if you just turn it back on. I still think it's hilarious that it happened. With the premiere over, drinking ensued.

And then it was Sunday. What do you do after all of that? Watch the Simpsons and nothing more. This week has been a breeze, I'm enjoying not doing much (except taxes, but I get a refund, which is going to a DVD-R Upconverting player with HD tuner card, hooray.).

Come to think of it, the Nazis weren't that bad either!

2008-04-04T11:22:00.001-07:00

Glen Beck is stupidest putz on the planet: http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/04/03/beck.oilexecs/index.html

Twinhead Production

2008-03-15T23:59:00.000-07:00

As of today, we'll have been shooting for exactly one month. That's the 15th of February in this year two thousand and eight, so my planner tells me. And what a month. It's been one of the most logistically complex, rigorous, aggressive, and great shoots I've been on. But that's the thing, isn't it, is that it's not just one shoot but many many shoots. In this short amount of time, we've shot: a scene of high-class dialogue, a fashion show, a subversive documentary with politicians, a parody trailer, a party, a Southern party, a sports film, and some things that are really just beyond all reason and good taste. Even bad taste, for that matter.

February 22nd
"The Games Rich People Play"

Ah, the rich. How else to criticize excess than with excess (which seems to be something we're quite good at)? This was the first shoot I had to direct, which was strange to think about since I last directed "Me and My Bot" over a year ago. The scene is simple enough -- two couples sit and discuss some new territory. And the actors -- Geoff, Cherry, Diana, and Eli -- are so talented and fucking hilarious that I knew I didn't have much to worry about except the occasional suggestion. The big hurdle was the film-makin', remembering (or figuring out again), how to make all of this work.

I didn't draw up any storyboards for the scene, convinced that it would be pretty basic wide shot, two-shots, and then close-ups. Of course, this slightly bit me in the ass towards the end, but it looks and worked out just fine. I had never seen Diana's parents' house before (which was gorgeous and absolutely perfect!), so storyboarding beforehand seemed a little futile. It was a good reminder of how to think on one's feet during a shoot. However, I will never, ever go into a shoot without storyboards, because it's such a good time to think about composition and how to show character, dominance, etc., and to just be creative so don't end up shooting bland looking crap.

Alright, I will get pictures from this shoot as soon as possible.

"Gigli" Drinking Game

2008-03-15T23:58:00.000-07:00

Rules:

1. J. Lo showing up as expected - 1 drink
2. Dubious reason for using Gigli's phone - 1 drink
3. Showing off her bodacious curves - 1 drink
4. Anytime pseudo Rain Man says "Baywatch" - sip
5. Inappropriate music - sip
6. Every time Gigli says "Rhymes with 'really'" - 1 drink
7. Where are we? - optional 1 drink
8. Every time Gigli's hair is too big for the frame - 1 drink
9. What is happening? - Chug

Real Top Ten

2008-02-24T18:30:00.000-08:00

Just in time for the Oscars. I went to the AMC all day screening of the five Best Picture nominees yesterday. What a weird mess that was. It was cool, don't get me wrong, getting to see all five movies in a row and survive off mall food, sugar, and caffeine. But the crowd was not what I expected. Instead of raving film geeks eager to watch some of the best films from the year, it was mostly fat, middle-aged suburbanites looking to save a buck on their inevitably empty Saturday. After "There Will Be Blood," one of the fatter loudmouths got up at the end and said loudly enough so that all could hear, "I could have made that movie into five minutes" and then to her friend, "Thanks for not making me feel retarded. Terrible movie! Terrible!"

I had my own quiet revenge as the print for "Juno" was abysmal and blurry, thus ruining everyone's stupid fun. Plus, we all got free passes out of it. At the end, after Tommy Lee Jones recounts his highly important, metaphorical dream from "No Country for Old Men," the audience burst into angry interjections of "What!?" and "Ughhh!," a girl behind me declared "I'm never doing this again," and a man said, "One and a half out of five." His wife, presumably, said, "You give it 1/2 out of 5?" And he said, "No. One and a half out of the five movies was good." What a stupid fat shit. YOU CLEARLY DON'T ENJOY FILM, SO WHY BOTHER SEEING FIVE OF THE YEAR'S BEST IN A ROW????????

1. There Will Be Blood
2. The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
3. Zodiac
4. King of Kong
5. Michael Clayton
6. Into the Wild
7. Hot Fuzz
8. Paris Je T'aime
9. Control
10. Ratatouille

A Woman Under the Influence

2008-02-20T09:30:00.000-08:00

I'm still slowly making my way through the John Cassavettes boxset I got two Christmases ago (nothing to speak of for the film noir boxset and the Hitchcock boxset from so long ago that I'm still working on). I sat down with a chai tea latte and watched "A Woman Under the Influence" (1974).

The most striking thing about the film is the idea of perception, being how society views behavior and how it labels that behavior. Gena Rowlands plays Mable, who's a very sweet, whimsical, although childish, mother. At first, she seems a bit overwound, but as the film moves forward, we see that her behavior is out of step with how we expect her to react. While it is odd, her behavior certainly is malevolent, just naive attempts at fun or humor. The point at which they're deemed unacceptable is announced by her husband, played by Peter Falk, often in the form of a loud reprimand.

At one point, he brings home a group of coworkers for lunch/dinner after a night shift. She doesn't introduce herself with a "Hello" or "My name is..." but instead asks, "Would you like some spaghetti?" Later at the dinner table, she begins asking the coworkers at random what their names are, and she asks one of the men to stand up and dance. He replies shyly, saying "No, I don't want to" or "I don't think so." Saying no but being pleasant and gentle about it.

It's at this point that Peter Falk tells her to "Sit your ass down!" that the scene becomes uncomfortable. The moment prior to this has tension, but it's benign, and we assume that she would have eventually given up asking the man to dance. But it's the declaration of Peter Falk that something extremely out of line and socially unacceptable is taking place. And I think there's weight and history behind the way he says it. It's not a sudden anger, but one that's always ready to surface in Falk's character. While he loves his wife and cares for her, it's the years of tension built from people asking what's wrong with his wife and dealing with her behavior that create this fury that can lash out and bring Mable back to Earth.

And this is no justification for his behavior. He often goes too far, screaming to the point of discomfort. And yet his wife's sanity is on the line, not his, because anger is an acceptable emotion, even in these extreme amounts. No matter how hot-tempered he gets, no one would say he's the one who's crazy. Her socially awkward behavior is what's under scrutiny because that's more unfamiliar, and we're not quite sure how to react to it. Anger makes more sense, in some regard, and becomes easier to react to and deal with. But the film shows clearly the damage involved in defaulting to anger to grapple with normalcy and acceptability.

Semicolonoscopy

2008-02-20T09:05:00.000-08:00

This is the loveliest article I've ever read on the semicolon:

Celebrating the Semicolon in a Most Unlikely Location

The whimsy and sort of nerdy joy celebrated in the article reminded me of my own nerdy joy. If watching films, reading film news, and writing about them were a paying job not coveted by every Ain't It Cool News reader who posts "First!," then life would be easier. Lately, a grain of thought that's been working in my mind is that I'm sick of waiting on a job or waiting to rely on a job like that. Obviously, if one were hired into that sort of ideal position, then that would be just perfect because it's just sitting there for you. But since that's an instance of waitin' and wishin', I dunno...I admire entrepreneurship. That's one of the things I most admire about Twinhead is their sort of natural camaraderie that comes from just wanting to do and create, and how work just blossoms from that desire.

I would definitely like this blog to become more geared towards production and following that along. I meant to take pictures during the shooting for "Are You the Love of My Life?" but next time, whatever we end up shooting this Friday.

In other news, I have been suddenly overtaken by chai tea lattes. Despite all of her efforts and orders of them, Katie hadn't converted me. No, it was a free sample in a box of Celestial Seasonings Green Tea and the adding of soy milk. It's not as harsh as getting a coffee and it puts me at ease, which I think is better for me. I love being fucking pepped up and going, but too many things can get distracting.

No, I discount Kroger!

2008-02-18T07:06:00.001-08:00

So the other day Katie and I were looking for a bottle of wine, and when decided whether to get the 750 ml bottle or the 1.5 liter bottle, I noticed this strange discrepancy. Do you see it?

Without the Kroger discount, the larger bottle is the better value ($15.33 per liter). But with the discount, suddenly the 750 ml bottle is 67 cents cheaper per liter ($11.99 vs. $12.66). If you bought two of the smaller discounted bottles, thus equaling 1.5 liters, you'd be $1.02 richer than if you had bought the discounted 1.5 liter bottle. Wow, I know. I was amazed, too.

Sleep with one eye open Kroger, I'm watching you!

Back

2008-02-18T06:53:00.000-08:00

We are back from New Zealand. Every time we would tell someone, particularly New Zealanders, that we were only staying for a week, they'd say, "Only a week?" And we'd go "Blah blah we only have so much vacation time." And after the trip was over, I thought a week was definitely the right amount of time. Now looking back (all the way back an entire week) I think a week was short only in that I can't fully wrap my head around all we did. Still reeling from Arthur's Pass, which was definitely the highlight of the trip and featured the most beautiful landscapes I've ever seen. Sorry Sylva, NC. You're now a close second.

There is much to say about our trip, too much for one post. So, I'll probably break into up into a million smaller posts to give them their proper attention.

Maybe the air in New Zealand was too clean (and it really was. It was incredibly refreshing, and Christchurch was probably the cleanest city I've been in. Despite that, I still thought it was gross that people were walking around barefoot.), but within a few days, I have managed to get both strep throat AND the flu. It sucks, but on the upside Katie and I get to stay in and watch movies all day.

And I might spend more of today watching this:

Lost Theme Song

Twinhead in 2D

2008-01-24T21:21:00.000-08:00

So, we just had a meeting to discuss film ideas for this year, and I am very pleased and overwhelmed by how many ideas people came up with. 27, I think, was the final number. We're already forging ahead and figuring out screenings and planning what to shoot, it's a very exciting time. I can't wait to start shooting.

10 Days

2008-01-23T12:31:00.001-08:00

Until New Zealand. Prepare for pictures, tales, etc.

Try this...

2008-01-15T21:09:00.000-08:00

Step one: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
Whatever the title of the article is, that's your band name.

Step two: http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four words of the very last quotation on the page will be your album title.

Step three: http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/
The third picture on the page will be your album cover.

Step four: Photoshop that shit.

God...

2008-01-15T15:31:00.001-08:00

I wish I worked at the Lost writer's office.

Best of 2007

2007-12-31T18:28:00.000-08:00

1. The Assassination of Jesse James
2. No Country for Old Men
3. Juno
4. Control
5. Paris Je T'aime
6. King of Kong
7. Ratatouille
8. Zodiac
9. Hot Fuzz
10* TBD (probably will be There Will Be Blood)

So many other good films:
Once, Into the Wild, Knocked Up, Michael Clayton, Gone Baby Gone, Across the Universe, This is England, The Brave One, the first 2/3 of Sunshine, Planet Terror

Didn't Like: Before the Devil Knows You're Dead, Eastern Promises, Sweeney Todd, Superbad, Margot at the Wedding, Darjeeling Limited (want to give it a second chance)

Music:
1. Of Montreal - Hissing Fauna, Are You the Destroyer?
2. Explosions in the Sky - All of a Sudden I Miss Everyone
3. Radiohead - In Rainbows

Didn't listen to much music this year.

Books:
Blankets
Black Hole
A Spot of Bother
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Man. Is that it?

Places:
St. Augustine - actually rather liked it.
Houston - also liked it, very much.
Galveston - rode horses on the beach, pretty lovely.
New Orleans - in love.
Helen, GA - very cool.

Et al.
Henry Barfight
Twinhead/Christian Comic Chaos
Romp/Chomp and Stomp
Too much else to remember.
Very good year.

2008

2007-12-31T18:21:00.000-08:00

Read more (gotta keep it up). Run, lose weight. Save more money.

DVDs I still need to watch:

Woman Under the Influence
Killing of a Chinese Bookie
Opening Night
Brief Encounter
M
The Lives of Others
Foreign Correspondent
The Wrong Man
Suspicion
I Confess
The Stranger
Killer Bait
Le Corbeau
Quai des Orfevres

GPB & J

2007-12-13T16:12:00.001-08:00

Today was my first day of work at Georgia Public Broadcasting. After working for about a month with my former professor Jonathan Harris on getting situated, I was finally accepted as an apprentice in his program.

The day began with their office party -- I've never had such good timing. A great way to meet people and a smörgåsbord of free food. And then my work day commenced, after a wonderful tour by Julian. I'm working on an oral history project featuring World War II vets from Georgia. It's really interesting, but not the most thrilling thing to work on. I'm reminded of the vets interviewed at the start of episodes in the Band of Brothers mini series. Only now the vets speak at great length about their experiences. It feels like a very meaningful project to be working on, which is very different from other shows I've worked on.

I just feel in my element at GPB. Plus, judging from the office party, the staff is a more approachable size, more close-knit. And much friendlier. The Executive Director thanked everyone and listed many projects that have been worked on. It seemed more arduous than endearing, but it did make me think, I can't remember the last time I worked on something and felt the impact of that work.

Another plus is the longer train ride. Granted, any excuse to ride MARTA for a shorter duration should be heeded, but I do, for some reason, enjoy the North/South line. It's very unreliable and there are a lot more people who ride it, but it makes me feel like I live in a city. And not to mention, walking through Midtown is an exhilarating way to start your day (it'll be better once it's cold again!). Plus, the longer ride means I have some real time to read.

I've begun reading Harry Potter. I'm minutes away from finishing the first book, and I have to say it rides the line between reminding me of reading books when I was a kid and being a really well-told story. This is all complimentary. The stories are so good and the characters so well defined that you can't help but get sucked back into that mental cave of comfort you had when you were a child.

Postscript

2007-12-10T12:06:00.000-08:00

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_French_phrases - i.e., guide to pretension.

I'm never reading again.

2007-12-03T12:19:00.001-08:00

Ok, so that's not true. But I just got a new HDTV from a coworker. And it rocks. We're not even watching HD movies or anything, it's just such an upgrade from our last 19" TV. The sound alone is worth the upgrade. We gave the new TV a test run with the last scene from Hot Fuzz. What a good choice, I heard sound effects I'd never heard before, and it looked gorgeous too. Then, we watched Planet Earth...again, splendid. Then, I watched Minority Report. Then, we watched Drop Dead Gorgeous.

Needless to say, I love watching movies on this thing. I really want to burn through the movies I own that I have yet to watch. Because I'm a huge nerd, here is a list of my ten favorite Criterion Collection films (after reading through this same feature on their site, I couldn't resist):

1. In the Mood for Love

2. Le Samourai

3. Battle of Algiers

4. Playtime

5. La Haine

6. The Third Man

7. Man Bites Dog

8. Hoop Dreams

9. The Royal Tenenbaums

10. Faces

Coup de grâce!

2007-11-27T10:04:00.000-08:00

That's it. I'm absolutely fucking sick of publications like the New York Times, Pitchfork Media, and probably countless others using French phrases in their writing. I don't understand. It's written snobbery, and it's condescending. "Hm, let's see, nothing in English really expresses what I'm trying to say here. Ah, of course, éminence grise does the trick."

And it's not like I'm a stupid person, either. I mean, I can be dumb, sure. But when you've written an article on Heath Ledger in "I'm Not There," going to great lengths to describe the fucking jeans he's wearing, don't relegate me to a lower tier of erudition by turning to your "French Phrases for Insecure Assholes Compendium."

Don't get me wrong, I love the New York Times, but get over yourselves. I saw "Margot at the Wedding," you New York intelligentsia types are mean.

Related note: does anyone remember how Bugs Bunny used to say "coop da grace-y?"

Dance like Ian Curtis

2007-11-20T11:27:00.000-08:00

"Control" is one of my favorite films from this year. It's a film with both a terse protagonist and terse visuals; it aims to strip away any layer of legend behind Joy Division, but not really. Anton Corbijn, whom I know as a director of music videos (specifically "Heart-Shaped Box" by Nirvana), presents the events in a very flattened way. Take the scene where Ian tells his wife (played by Samantha Morton, whom I always confuse with Emily Watson) that he's been cheating on her. They shoot the scene with a telephoto lens, flattening any sense of depth -- the houses on the hill in the background are very striking, as are the cars lining the road in the foreground. In between these images are Ian and his wife, essentially walking in place as he tells her, in stark black and white. It's very beautiful.

Another aspect of the film I loved was the depiction of music. Normally, and many films are incredibly guilty of this, music is out of sync with what's on screen. Drummers hit anything but the correct drums in accordance with the music heard, guitarists feebly strum the strings for no reason. Here, the actors-as-band-members all perform the songs live, essentially, and it brings this immediacy and sense of honesty to the portrayal of the band. It doesn't feel like we're watching Joaquin Phoenix do his best Johnny Cash. We're watching Joy Division.

Sam Reilly's performance as Ian Curtis embodies what is legendary about the frontman. His energy, the feeling that he was actually giving every ounce of his life into performing. He relates in the film that people don't understand how much of himself he gives each concert. It's this that makes you understand the band's legacy, that he wasn't just some idle genius. The band's formation is, again, presented as quietly and matter-of-factly as possible. It was how bare and personal his performance was, and we see it every time the band is drenched in sweat.

To tie this film with another film based on an English band, Joe Anderson plays the bass guitarist here with his native accent. In "Across the Universe," he's Max, a fast-talking, Ivy League student turned hippie, where his acting style is somewhere between Brad Pitt and Sam Rockwell. And he looks like Jared Leto (the actual guitarist of 30 Seconds to Mars [which brings up another point I think Julian and I talked about: why do all celebrity bands have space-themed names? Dog Star with Keanu Reeves, 30 Seconds to Mars, Phantom Planet with Jason Schwartzman, the Bacon Brothers...]).

Here's to bronchitis!

2007-11-15T13:34:00.000-08:00

Why are children's coughs so cute sounding?

Google aides sanity

2007-11-15T11:12:00.000-08:00

So even if I tried my hardest to scrape my brain of every bit of info I could remember, I probably would never have been able to look up the old shows still lodged in my from childhood without Google. But because of I remember "cartoon" and "koala" and "archeologist," I found the show "Noozles."

Thanks also goes to Wikipedia. I have images in my head of a man with an acoustic guitar singing in a cozy meadow with puppets. That's a bit harder to Google, but since they have an enormous list of every show ever put on Nickelodeon, I found "Fred Penner's Place." He also sang "The Cat Came Back," which I LOVED as a kid.

Finally, my mom has always told me that my favorite cartoon had an animated dog named "Belle." Again, the list provided an answer, though I have no memories of the show. It's called "Belle and Sebastian," and it's an anime based on a French book. Here I thought all along Belle and Sebastian were the band members' real names.

One baby to another says, I'm lucky to meet you

2007-11-14T11:14:00.000-08:00

It started when I heard Dave Grohl interviewed on "Fresh Air" with Terry Gross. The conversation inevitably began with Foo Fighters and boring boring boring. Foo Fighters haven't been good for a long time, and you could really tell that Gross was not interested in the new record.

When she veered discussion towards Nirvana, that's when it suddenly became alive and intriguing. Grohl had very funny stories to tell, and it actually introduced some depth to Foo Fighters' songs, "Friend of a Friend" in particular (apparently written about Kurt Cobain when Grohl lived with him). Everything revolving around Nirvana had this veil of legacy and legend; Grohl felt like a relic of a bygone era, sharing his perspective and detailing what it was like in Seattle circa 1990 as a struggling, talented musician in a ragtag band.

This spawned a sudden curiosity for me. I've never really listened to Nirvana, aside from myriad singles and Unplugged recordings. I was surprised by how accessible "Nevermind" really is -- it's basically a pop album. As Cobain said, they kind of rip off the Pixies. Lots of the songs focus on loud guitar sections and quiet passages with bass and drums. But it all sounds so great. It's a terrific album.

Aside from this, Nirvana seems to be popping up more and more. The Unplugged session is coming out on DVD, and there's a new doc called About a Son, featuring interviews with Cobain and goes over his life.

On a related note, I just saw "Control," another film about a short-lived, high-rise frontman who killed himself. I'll write more about that tomorrow.

Sounding stupid

2007-11-13T10:10:00.000-08:00

Everytime, for the past week or so, that I've tried to update this blog, I end up not doing it. I deem whatever I was thinking no worth writing about or worry that were I to read it in the future, I would appear stupid. Today, I decided to go back and perform the now-typical masochistic act of reading old blog entries. Like really old. I went to read my Xanga.

At first it was painful, realizing how stupid you could sound. The more I think about it, though, the more I realize I was actually pretty typical. I liked bad music (still do), I wrote bad poetry that progressed to sorta bad poetry, and I had an ideological bent with religion and modern art. My reasons were always very extreme -- "Best movie ever!" -- and I was actually a pretty bad speller. I was pretty much an average, loud-mouth high schooler with plenty of recycled opinions and a few of my own. And among the many lists of bullshit, because prioritizing and reprioritizing your life or figuring out 5 things to do with your life is always amusing, one caught my eye: "I wish I could watch movies for a living."

It made me smile reading that. It's something I've been saying lately, and it wasn't part of remembering some mantra from adolescence. I thought it was something fairly recent, this resurgence of movie watching. It was nice to find that parallel, to see that this really is something that I have loved for a long time.

I really was out to find evidence that I'm more dumb than not, but my old posts did make me laugh a little bit and cringe a lot. But so do old pictures of hairdos. Kids like ranting and pontificating about big ideas. The most troubling thing I read was a post from when I was really depressed. It was just this monstrous rambling diatribe that was a big plea for help. Nothing about it sounded stupid.

The first of many.

2007-11-05T14:58:00.000-08:00

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2822259/

23

2007-10-25T09:42:00.000-07:00

I'm now 23. Going to see "The Darjeeling Limited" tonight.

Best Halloween Ever

2007-10-22T19:37:00.000-07:00

...and it was only the 20th of October. For a brief evening, L5P turned into something between Bourbon Street and Amsterdam, filtered through a dimension where zombies roamed the land. We became besotted in the streets, ate calzones with a ravenous frenzy, smashed pumpkins with capricious anger, all before 10:00 pm.

Actually...

2007-10-18T18:44:00.000-07:00

This would make a fantastic gift...

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41HuZQ66hTL._AA240_.jpg

Greatest YouTube Clip Ever

2007-10-18T11:27:00.000-07:00

http://www.stopsmilingonline.com/wordpress/?p=244

Also, my birthday is next Thursday. A subscription to Stop Smiling or Film Comment would be awesome.

Sorry.

2007-10-13T19:00:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry, but...I've just got to write a little about Ann Coulter. She deserves no attention, and the day she gets assassinated, well, I'll attend the funeral in celebration. In case you don't know, she's a conservative ColUmNisT.

I've just spent the last hour watching clips on Youtube after typing in "Anne Coulter" (yes I spelled it wrong). It's like bad television, and actually is for me because I don't have cable. I'm sure hundreds of individuals, dozens of blogs, and other things have obsessively dedicated themselves to pointing out every single fucking stupid thing she says, every hypocrisy, lie, slander, etc. Here's one I've just made.

Here are some clips of Coulter on Hardball and Glenn Beck. The Beck piece references the Hardball piece, but watch both, especially the end of the Hardball clip.

Beck: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnVMMpcP2gA

Hardball: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xYcUQiJ3sk

In an effort to avoid ever responding directly to criticism or making a point, she persistently asks for "the context" in which her statements were made, otherwise she cannot respond to them. She's always asking for the entire sentence or the sentence prior, as if that will then clue her in to the fucked up logic she applies to her universe.

I've never been a fan before, but god bless Al Franken. In this clip, he dutifully provides Coulter with the "context" of a quote she wholly misused in her book "Treason." It's nothing but utter goodness. Watch the end where Coulter gets incredibly racist, it's ridiculous.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHx0oLrGjKY

Chomp and Stomp 5k

2007-10-13T13:36:00.000-07:00

So, while in the gym on Thursday, I run into Mark. I relay my usual dilemmas about being out of shape and so forth. He tells me about the Chomp and Stomp 5k coming up November 3rd.

I have missed Chomp and Stomp for the past two years because I've been working. It's basically a festival of great chili and beer. I have been looking for a 5k to train for. I think this is it, and it will be the first one I've ever done. As Mark said, I'll get to run and then celebrate with chili and beer (and a new long-sleeved shirt!). I am so excited.

I've begun training for this, but it's been kind of difficult. For some reason, I've got a permanent extra ten pounds stashed away (oh New Orleans...), so kick starting everything is a bit harder in many ways -- I'm running slower, I can feel how heavy I am, and now I've got a sore throat. That's unrelated to the weight gain, but it doesn't make breathing any easier. I was going to see "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford," because apparently Casey Affleck grew up this year, but I just feel like shit. When I think about taking MARTA to Atlantic Station and walking and seeing yuppies walking around and sitting in that theater watching a movie that's 2 hours and 40 minutes, the pleasantness of staying at home with Henry drinking tea with honey, eating nice warm food, and watching a horror movie suddenly sounds incredibly inviting.

So anyway, my training has begun. And it's going well, so far. The next week will look like this:

Friday, October 12th - Run 1.5 miles or better (I ran 2 miles)
Saturday - Run 2 miles (check)
Sunday - Run 20 minutes
Monday - Rest
Tuesday - Run 2.5 miles at the track
Wednesday - Run 25 minutes on the treadmill
Thursday - Rest
Friday - Run 2.5 miles
Saturday - Run 2 miles
Sunday - Run 25 minutes

These first two days have gone well. The runs feel very difficult at first, but by the end, they're ok. Essentially, the way I have it planned, I will increase my distance/time by a half mile/five minutes every week. The 5k is only three weeks away, so I know I need to really commit to the regimen I've laid out. Worst comes to worst, I run a slow 5k. Not a big deal. Here's the route I ran:

View Larger Map

It says it's .9 miles, so running both ways, it's about 2 miles (I run through the Path the first time through, and it's pretty curvy, I think it's can account for .2 miles). The weird thing is that my time for today was 17:09, which means I was running an 8:35 mile. That sounds a lot better than where I thought I would be at. It's hard to tell because if the Path doesn't add on that much mileage, and I really ran about 1.8 miles, which would put me at a 9:00 minute mile. Anyhow.

Other news, the Candler Park Fall Festival is happening right now. I wish had hundreds of more dollars so I could buy tons of artwork. There are so many talented people there! Plus, amazing food, Sam Adams, neighbors (Glen is a photographer! And his logo is the sweetest thing ever), and lots of Halloween-type art! We only went for an hour, but it was so inspiring.

My birthday is fast-approaching. It's weird. I'll be 23. Older than when Garry Kasparov become the world chess champion (he was 22). Slightly younger than when Orson Welles made Citizen Kane (25). Anyhow, I love birthdays. Mostly mine, though.

Finally, Josh and Berta are renting a cabin, and they're letting us city slickers tag along! I can't wait, I love excursions.

More Horror Films

2007-10-12T19:01:00.000-07:00

So I don't feel like doing full-blown reviews, but I have been watching many horror-genre items to get into the spirit. It finally feels cold!! I'm so weird, I take this weather as an opportunity to not wear socks with my shoes.

"1408" - as has been said, this is a pretty damn good horror movie, but nowadays (as an old man once said) it doesn't take much. The film revolves around John Cusack as a washed-up author of books that delve into the world of haunted locales. He's an uber skeptic, and eventually makes his way to a spooky, made-up hotel in New York, the Dolphin. Samuel L. Jackson is the hotel's manager, and he's really only in one scene -- he tries to convince Cusack to not stay in room 1408. But Cusack only sees the caution as a ploy to this challenge; Jackson is obviously building suspense so it gets a good write-up in his next book. However, Jackson bluntly warns, "It's an evil fucking room."

And how! The strength of the film lies in the fact that it does more than just stick Cusack in a room for 90 minutes. Slowly built up are certain biographical elements that come into play as the room becomes an acid trip/lucid nightmare gone bad. Again, it's mainly Cusack here, and there isn't any specific ghost haunting the room. The room represents a spin cycle of bad memories made manifest and, really, it's the bad trip of bad trips. The mental confusion, disorientation, loss of equilibrium, and the conviction that Cusack ultimately reaches are utterly delusional and handled very well. The tone of the film permeates every scene -- I was actually jumping with every phone ring, every dog bark.

"Cemetery Man" - This film is very strange. It's in the style of Italian horror cinema (I think; I've only seen "Suspiria" and I hated it). It was made in 1994, though it could easily pass for late 80s, due to the cinematography, which is all washed and reminiscent of "Evil Dead." However, the plot's very interesting. Rupert Everett, looking nothing like Rupert Everett, works the graveyard shift. At a graveyard. His job -- rekill the undead, who rise from the graves every night (why he doesn't just shoot them in the head before they bury them, I don't know).

After a few questionable zombie killings, the line between the living and the dead blurs for Everett. He knows more dead people than living, as he puts it, and his course turns starkly existential. He no longer knows, nor cares, who he kills. What's more is that this is all rather funny. His disregard for the living and an out-of-place visit to the doctor add levity to what could be really depressing. The film's rich with metaphors and symbolism, though they escape me at the moment.

"Creepshow" - I remember this from my childhood. A quick rundown: In order, they are "Father's Day," "The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill," "Something to Tide You Over," "The Crate," and "They're Creeping Up On You."

"Father's Day" is very forgettable, except for watching Ed Harris 80s dance. "Jordy Verrill" stars Stephen King. It's dumb. It's very, very dumb. King guffaws and jaw-drops his way through acting, and luckily we get to see him kill himself. It's too campy.

"Tide," however, is nothing but brilliant. Leslie Nielson and Ted Danson give amazing performances. Really. Nielson shows what a gifted actor he is. Even at the end, he looks like he is shitting his pants with terror. And the story is genuinely creative and creepy. I remember loving short horror stories as a kid -- Alvin Schwartz's books in particular. "Tide" is really clever and simple, which is why it's so great.

"The Crate" also has a very good storyline. It's just as good as "Tide," but lacks Leslie Nielson (though Adrienne Barbeau is superbly annoying). And "Creeping" is just fucking gross.

"The Simpsons - Treehouse of Horror 1-4" - good lord, what can I say? These are the funniest Simpsons episodes out there.

The Devil's Backbone

2007-10-03T12:30:00.000-07:00

The Devil's Backbone (2001)

I don't have a whole lot to say about this film. It's by Guillermo del Toro, and it reminded me very much of “Pan's Labyrinth”. The film takes place during the Spanish Civil War and follows a young boy, Carlos, after he’s placed in an orphanage. Like “Pan’s Labyrinth,” del Toro centers the story on the children and the implications of this apparition.

It’s a bit more depressing, but not as sad as “Pan’s Labyrinth.” I think the latter provides a better perspective on children coping with the horrors of war. With “The Devil’s Backbone,” the story just isn’t terribly strong, and the tragedy is catalyzed by the war, but not caused by it directly.

The ghost, in terms of modern horror films and the prevalence of scary children/ghosts, is handled very well. And the child actors are really great. It’s kind of scary, but not really. Just creepy when Santi shows up. The final scenes are pretty frightening, however.

OCTOBER/Extra Weird Sampler Review

2007-10-02T07:08:00.000-07:00

So, it's October. Some people get Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) as we approach winter, but I do not. It's like someone is lacing everything I drink with prozac. I feel so alive during autumn, maybe it's the crisp air, the cool weather, the fact that it's my birthday, or that it's Halloween, the only season so interlinked with movies (except Christmas and I guess summer blockbusters).

And because I have so much energy this month, I've decided to write as many horror movie reviews as I can. It would be nice if this blog became a venue for me to write movie reviews, thus leading to a lucrative career. I think the problem is I like to watch movies, but I don't like to analyze the hell out of them. Why can't you just enjoy the movie? And with that, on to my first review.

Extra Weird Sampler - Something Weird Video (2003)
"Warning!! This program contains violence, nudity, gorillas, wrestlers, and mutant sheep!”

Thanks to my good friend Mike, our recent "Welcome to October!" party, complete with pumpkin beer and autumn dishes, was better than I could have imagined. He brought this DVD ("I found it in some cheap bin at Fry's") that boasts having "Over 100 of the Most Amazing Movies Ever Made!" Well, really, just the trailers from those movies. And at times, they aren't even trailers -- they're scenes from the film. And even then, you can tell that it's the scene they spent all of their money on. This is visible in one trailer/scene where a Jason-and-the-Argonauts-type Greek battles a large foam dragon. And another where a man kills a women, pounds on her bare butt with a meat tenderizer, eats her butt, and pokes out her eye.

The latter is also an example of the types of films featured here: sexploitation, gore fetishes, rape revenge films, rape with no revenge films, monster movies, nudist films, burlesque films, and too many more. Pardon me for not remembering the titles of certain films. When the majority of the films feature the word "Blood" in the title, it gets a little hazy.

The titles that do make a lasting impression (and I suppose this is the reason for their being done this way) feature the title in some ridiculous way. For instance, "Kiss Me Quick" never had the narrator say the title. He would lead up to it, and then a female character (can I really assume that the people in this films are fleshed out enough (no pun intended) to be characters?) sensuously says, "Kiss me quick," in a hushed whisper. And then there was "Color.......Me.......Blood........Red."

These trailers are the obvious source of parodic fodder utilized by the guest directors in "Grindhouse," though when I saw the fake trailers in "Grindhouse," I remember thinking how over-the-top they were. The trailers on this disc are the hilariously real, and they are that much more ridiculous. The most amazing thing is what these films had in common. Lots of mingling feet. And cats. Cats play a big role in many of these films. Oh yeah, rape too.

The DVD is only $5 on Amazon. You'll be amazed how numb you will be to breasts and rape scenes. We were only able to watch an hour.

Dear Rob Schneider,

2007-08-28T14:58:00.000-07:00

STOP TAKING OUT FULL PAGE ADS, YOU DEFENSIVE PRICK.

http://defamer.com/hollywood/top/rob-schneider-takes-on-mel-gibson-to-plug-new-movie-in-variety-191949.php

http://defamer.com/hollywood/gossip/rob-schneider/by-request-rob-schneiders-attack-ad-032113.php

http://www.imdb.com/news/sb/2007-08-28/#3

Why the fuck does he think this is the best forum to respond? They started off, I guess, ok with the Mel Gibson thing. But now, he's taken out an ad in the Sydney Herald about a guy whom he borrowed a dvd from. Douche.

Ideas for blogs that I won't write about at length.

2007-08-27T19:26:00.001-07:00

No more films about prostitution/drugs/pimps should ever be made ever again!

Atlanta Underground Film Festival? More like Atlanta Blunderground Phlegm Phestival. A slacker with a dvd player, a projector, and no concept of professionalism just duped so many filmmakers out of money.

I hate the phrase "I, for one, ... " so much it makes my ears bleed. It's such a stupid, fatheaded phrase that is like taking a shit on a pauper. "Excuuuuse me, but I, for one, will be boycotting said company's services." That is to be said with a snide voice while wearing a top hat and holding a cane. It's such a way of patronizing the reader. "I, as a paragon of high taste, refuse to do this or that." There is no reason to say "for one" except to take a moment and recognize yourself for doing something. What an asshole phrase.

peons.

2007-08-20T07:05:00.000-07:00

"We have no findings to suggest anyone famous was involved in the accident."

ted leo plays whirlyball.

2007-08-09T07:07:00.001-07:00

Best quiz ever

2007-07-30T09:09:00.000-07:00

Simpsons quote or real-life quote?

Let's smoke this joint

2007-07-27T07:38:00.000-07:00

http://www.cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/07/27/marijuana.psychosis.ap/index.html

Sounds like bollocks to me, especially this line, tucked away towards the end:

"Scientists cannot rule out that pre-existing conditions could have led to both marijuana use and later psychoses, he added."

Also, a few lists.

Movies in theaters to see:
-The Simpsons Movie
-Rescue Dawn
-Sunshine
-Paris je t'aime (maybe)

DVDs to buy:
-Zodiac
-Hot Fuzz (July 31st)
-Inland Empire (maybe)

Dresser -- I don't even know her!

2007-07-24T18:21:00.000-07:00

Lately I've had ideological, let's say, problems. I'm at this point where I get to make decisions, like actively choosing to not shop at Wal-Mart or deciding to give money to the local Candler Park Market instead of Kroger -- this is where it gets difficult. But, Katie and I have been blessed (am I being spiritual??) with jobs at CNN that pay well, and we, as consumers, can make these decisions.

But other problems have been coming up, like did we really, absolutely need to get the dresser from Ikea when we could have definitely survived without one and given our money to a charity? And this is a guy who has never donated or volunteered ever. The dresser is great, and it was just a random purchase that got me thinking (I fully support our decision to purchase the dresser). I'm still pondering all of this. I might be losing a few dollars to the local store, but it makes me feel good to buy from there. And I've also decided to really start buying food from organic and health-oriented companies, because that also makes me feel like I'm spending my money while truly thinking about the repercussions, and not just buying some name brand.

Although it really is goddamned expensive.

On a side note, I'm drinking Sam Adams' Scotch Ale, which is very strange and dark, but really great.

I've started reading A Spot of Bother by Mark Haddon, the man who wrote one of the few books I've read in the past five years A Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time. This new books is quite wonderful, his nuance and details make me want to read a lot more. I have put on (perhaps permanent) hiatus M: The Man Who Became Caravaggio by Peter Robb, because, while it's all very interesting, it is purely academic, and there is too much damn information about Rome and hooligans and stuff. It's very detailed, but not in a good way. I get it, Rome was a hell hole. What about the thing where Caravaggio died in a bar fight? Oh wait, that's 500 pages of tiny type down the road.

There's a great show on some cable channel called "Live at Abbey Road" that brings in a wide array of artists to record some of their songs. Their picks are strange, from thoughtless pop to Dave Matthews to Muse to Massive Attack. I downloaded the Massive Attack episode (the only one I could find) and I think I gave them a listen in the past, but not much, and they are really great. They're so focused on creating these grooves, it's fun to watch.

Finally, "Flight of the Conchords" is rocking my world right now. Download all six episodes if you can, they are fantastic. Looks like me and Jules will have to keep our day jobs and hone Big Dick and Concert Pianist until it's different enough.

escalator tensions

2007-07-06T10:57:00.000-07:00

First of all, check out how poorly written this AP article is, I mean Jesus! It's bad.

Today, I got off of MARTA at CNN Center and headed towards the escalators. There’s a set of four: the two left running down, the third dead, and the fourth running up.

On the fourth escalator is a group of people, and two of them are walking down the escalator, ala Christopher Walken in the “Weapon of Choice” video, except instead of something fairly entertaining, imagine the most annoying fucking thing you’ve ever seen.

These two kids, they have a friend who is attempting to take their picture. They are completely blocking off the escalator. The people walking in front of me stop at the escalator, allowing them to take their picture.

I figure somebody’s gotta put their foot down. I mean, you fucking idiots, it’s a STILL PICTURE. The camera won’t be able to tell if you’re moving up or down or not at all! Get in the dead escalator!

I walk up to the two kids, still walking against the escalator. They don’t move. I mumble, “Excuse me.” They don’t move. So I push my way past these great arguments for misanthropy and FLASH! The kid finally took the picture.

So now, this gruff asshole, interrupting the playful fun of some dumb tourists, is forever embedded into the same pixels as these guys. I wonder if they deleted the picture.

Blah and Order

2007-07-03T19:25:00.000-07:00

Ripped from the headlines!!

On the next episode of Blah and Order, we take an actual news event, put our own little excessive spin on it, and present it to you as entertainment! Like fine wine and steak, we pair real events that were interesting enough in the first place with our own pedestrian brand of drama, and voila! An episode! Why come up with a unique story when USA Today is full of 'em?

Next week's episode: Michael "Pooter" Flibby is given a presidential pardon by, guess who, his bosom buddy, the Commander in Chief! But that's not all. POTUS, it turns out, is the mastermind behind the country's worst attack, 8/11, which is named after the date on which the attacks occurred!

Stay tuned....

My predilection for art films has betrayed me.

2007-07-02T14:26:00.000-07:00

I was sitting alone in my place with my dog, whom I will refer to as Baby BarFight until he stops being a toddler. Katie and her friends had gone off into the rainy night, so I sat there, craving cable and wanting munchies. I dashed to the local convenience store, which I love having. Nothing establishes the fact that you are in a neighborhood better than a locally owned mart. And the quality of the mart can only be indicative of your neighborhood; to sum it up, they both kick ass.

Armed with Sweet Maui Onion Kettle Chips (omg), Paul Newman popcorn, Coca Cola, and a giant mom-and-pop cookie, I drove home only to realize that I don't own many good "mindless" movies. The few that I do own I've seen so many times that I hate them. I have over 200 DVDs, and I couldn't figure out what to watch. I settled on The Matrix, which would be embarassing if I actually liked it. And really, it's not that bad. It buys completely into the whole sexy-techno-tech-geek-future-sleek-gothic-punk-cyber-leather-orgy genre. It's really well made, well written, but luckily it's not deep at all. For a high-schooler, perhaps. But really, Alice in Wonderland? Dreams vs. reality? It's perfectly mindless in that its ideas are like rocks skipped across the surface of your brain.

Anyway, I made it about an hour into it, switched it over to Christopher Nolan's remake of Insomnia. I always thought it was a good effort, and some things stood out to me.

Quick tangent: I forgot to mention that things also stuck out for me during The Matrix, such as Neo talking to himself as he's about to climb out the window at the beginning. He's just talking to himself about the possibility of being arrested, thinking about what he could've done. It was interesting, I liked it.

Back to Insomnia, the whole plot about Internal Affairs was a lot more pronounced this time, maybe because I've already seen it. Also, the fact that Pacino is really a cop who has completely lost his moral footing has never been so clear. Knowing that he planted evidence, that he would withhold information from the other detectives to just kind of gung-ho his way to the murderer, he just comes off like such a stubborn, bad cop more than a truly good cop.

Anyway, while wtching these movies, I realized that I wish I invested more money into even more mindless movies, like Ocean's 11, Die Hard, Die Hard with a Vengeance, and Under Siege 2: Dark Territory. These movies are great, and if they were on TV I would have watched them. But alas I have chosen the higher brow.

A few life things:

I got a job at CNN with the department I interned at. Yay! Yesterday, Ryan, Tera, Katie, and I went bowling, which was awesome, but it seemed really short, even though we were there for three hours. I think free time seems shorter because I have very little of it.

My family and I and Katie are going to Florida in mid-July, which I'm very much looking forward to. I haven't been to the beach in like 7 years, so it should be fun. Plus, I'm looking forward to getting a tan...on my chest. It's very white.

IHNO

2007-06-26T11:50:00.001-07:00

I have, and I think we all do at points, the bad habit of having an opinion when I, in fact, have none. I got caught last week when somebody asked me if I kept up with baseball. I couldn’t just say, “No,” which would be completely honest. I tried to fake my way through it, stumbling about liking the Braves when I was younger and such. The truth is I have a really deep love of baseball that exclusively stems from childhood, but if you asked me if Chipper was doing well this season, I honestly couldn’t tell you if he was still on the roster or not. But I overhead that he is.

There’s an internet acronym IMHO: In My Humble/Honest Opinion. I’ve never had any use for this masturbatory, extraneous phrase. Everything I say is my opinion, unless otherwise noted as being someone else’s; I always give credit. Why do I need to say IMHO, … it’s useless. The internet might be a better place if we started using IHNO: I Have No Opinion. And I think people would appreciate my fresh look on opinions (to steal lyrics from Nada Surf) if I just told them that on the topic their discussing, I have no opinion. So that’s that, today there is a new piece of internet lingo, IHNO. Write about it, unless UHNO.

Check out Katie’s blog for a great picture of our place. It looks like she took it out of a magazine, but she didn’t.

I just ordered an 18-month Moleskine planner (how in the hell is that pronounced anyway? I say Mole-Skyne.) . I’m very excited, I have a small notebook of there’s, but its pages are blank. I am meaning to fill them with creative thoughts for certain scripts and television shows. Hopefully, they will be more interesting than the above-the-fold part of this blog.

Also, I’m looking into getting a new Eagle Creek bag from their website. The Local Messenger is really big and badass, and it comes in red. I’ve been looking to get a red bag that’s also manly. The multiple-views pictures shows a man with the bag – a good sign.

My favorite music right now is between Smashing Pumpkins’ Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness, any of The Strokes’ albums, and Wolf Parade. Wolf Parade is so incredible, I love that album, what’s it called?

If I could take the fire out from the wire/I’d share a life and you’d share a life.

PS: If there are any mistakes, please catch them and hand them to me, I wrote this in Word quickly.

Agreed.

2007-06-21T08:35:00.000-07:00

I've never agreed with a Pitchfork review so much until now (except whatever he says about "Sick, Sick, Sick"), because when he describes missing Nick Oliveri and listening to older albums, that's exactly what I've been doing. Weird.

I will update soon with all the new additions to my life.

iBlog

2007-06-12T06:37:00.001-07:00

According to this quiz on the happenin' new "App" on Facebook called iLike, I don't know the difference between the following bands:

My Chemical Romance
The Used
Fall Out Boy
All-American Rejects
Yellowcard
Simple Plan
The Starting Line
Story of the Year

and I don't care.

Also, it's sick that some of the people I know have points in the 7 and 8 thousands. The questions give you 10 points at a time! That's seven-hundred correctly answered answers!

I was standing around at work, what they call "Hosting," trying in vain to give assholes catalogs, when it dawned on me. I was just zoning out, thinking about things for the cartoon Jules and I are working on, and when somebody would come up, it would sap me of every creative juice that I had the moment before. Talking to people, specifically strangers, even more specifically the lower grade of humans known as customers, is quite possibly the most uncreative act. It requires recitation ("Hello, how are you doing?"), recall ("Let's see, that's over in Closet"), and scripted actions ("Let's go over there" waddle waddle waddle).

That's not to say that talking to people itself is uncreative. I love collaborating; in fact, I'm convinced that the best work comes from working directly with somebody. Although, I did try an experiment yesterday. Our pilot episode is set in a mall, so I figured, why not go to the mall for some inspiration? And while it did provide some atmosphere and some non sequitur jokes, it was mostly useful to just go and sit and be alone and be forced to think and work.

It's strange, because writing doesn't come to me naturally (except for here), that I have no real instincts for coming up with something funny or clever, it's an awkward medium. What works written, but what also works visually and when spoken? It truly is a shot in the dark when I write something down, because comedy needs an audience, and if you don't have that partner there to laugh, then what the hell?

Also, as you're building these characters, how do you choose the precise words to define them? There's an infinite number of nuances to write in and directions to go, but I think that at that point, it's just my mind unable to pin the concept of fiction down.

-------------------------
The new Queens of the Stone Age album is out today. Maybe I'll drive and go get it. Also, the Wilco concert is next Tuesday, not today as my lovely fiancee had previously thought. What to do instead?

Sick, Sick, Sick

2007-06-07T08:12:00.000-07:00

Alright, I think I've written about the taste I have, and I think bad taste is something all of us have, unless we have good defenses. I'm bad at arguing and can't defend my taste, so I just have to take the hit. In terms of music, I worry that I have the worst of taste at times, and it was only recently certified as genetic or a product of nurturing when my dad said that he finds all of the songs he loves in iTunes under the "Pop" section.

In any case, I'm glad when one of the bands I listen to is deemed cool, beit by hipsters in general, a menagerie of bumper stickers ranking it with other equally acceptable bands on the rear of a car, or by personal anecdote of someone I know has fairly good taste all the time. Queens of the Stone Age is one of these bands. And in this case, fuck it, I do not need any of these social instances to confirm just how awesome QOTSA is. Yes, they have an acronym.

Josh Homme, the lead singer, has been around forever, starting with Kyuss and building QOTSA from the ground up, I think he's the only remaining original member. Maybe the other guitarist is as well. In any case, Josh Homme is a bona fide badass, he dances like Elvis on stage, constantly calls out dumbass assholes who are ruining his shows, and he's friends with every other badass on the planet. Dave Grohl, Mastodon, ZZ Top. The list goes on.

Anyhow, I downloaded their new album (and I will purchase it, because it's awesome), and I just saw the new video for their new single "Sick, Sick, Sick." The track's really different, pretty dark for QOTSA. And this is only matched by the music video. This video is not innovative like Michel Gondry or Chris Cunningham, it's not particularly clever, it's just a damn good music video in that in captures the attitude and mood of the song so spot-on. That's what they should do, right?

The video features a woman very subtly eating the members of the band. The clips of her eating are barbaric and sexual and disgusting. I'm not sure what the lyrics to the song are, but I have a clear idea after watching the video. Plus, the band is playing in some sort of fiery, vaginal cavity. It's fucking great.

Magazine clips

2007-06-04T09:47:00.000-07:00

Maybe I'm just dumb, maybe it's a girl thing, but whenever I open a girl's magazine to the index at the front, looking for a certain interview or tips on pleasing my man, I am so overwhelmed by how poorly the index is put together. I can't find anything! I was just looking for this interview with Zooey Deschanel in Jane, and for the life of me I cannot find any sort of indication as to what page the interview is on. I finally flipped to it, realizing these magazines tend to be indexed by their advertisements, kinda like tabs in a pimped out dictionary. Ah yes, the interviews are under Calvin Klein.

Very strange evening last night. Our neighbor fell out of his wheelchair, drunk apparently. Had to carry him to his bed, his pants fell off. Awwwwkward.

Katie and I, aka JKLOL, wrote a song to our friend Jules, aka DJ Jocular, entitled "Ode to Jules." You can download it here: Ode to Jules

Katie is shooting daggers at her new screen.

2007-05-30T16:15:00.000-07:00

Katie got a job at CNN! I'm still unemployed (in my field). Here's to being a househusband!

The end.

PS This is so short because I'm hogging KT's laptop. I'm frced 2 wrt n shrthnd. Time iz uv da essence. TTFN.

PSS I think I will live at Caribou with her laptop while she works 40 hours a week. Sigh, I mean Yay!, I mean sighhhhhh. :0

No Country for Old Men....or is it?!?

2007-05-13T16:27:00.000-07:00

So, I am finally, completely, one-hundred-percent THROUGH. Georgia State just has to mail me my sheep skin, and that's that, Arafat. I am more thrilled to be done with GSU than I am proud that my college career is over. That's pretty obvious though, considering GSU has not prepared me in any way whatsoever for the real world. Though the drinking involved would surely make me prepared for The Real World or whichever permutation currently exists.

I checked out this morning with nothing interesting to report back. I, thus, got to work about an hour and a half early, which is awlays welcome, so I stopped into Caribou Coffee to read the new book I'd recently acquired. Yes, it actually is a book featuring text exclusively, not a graphic novel with pictures. I LOVE graphic novels, and I thoroughly enjoy the ones of I read (in fact, the past five books I've read were graphic novels: David Boring, Torso, Jinx, Blankets, and Black Hole), but I feel like I'm using them to put off reading a book with words again. What book am I reading? Well, that's kinda complicated.

While we were in Sylva, we stopped at this tiny bookstore that we had been to back in September. It was basically a bunch of old library books someone had donated or something at some point in history, and now they were here. I browsed casually, slightly uninterested because the books were both old and unfamiliar. However, a title popped into my field of vision: "No Country for Old Men."

The title clicked; I recognized the title as being the book the Coen brothers are currently adapting into a film. I grabbed it off the shelf and flipped open the cover. $1.50 was scribbled in pencil above the library card. A buck fifty! I can afford that, I thought to myself. And what's more, I actually had the cash on me.

I bought the book, and I sat down and the read the prologue. Hm, ok, it's about a poet named Henry Raven. He's on a ship. And he's been murdered, but it's been made to look like a suicide. And...Nazis? Hm, if I recall, the publicity stills from the Coens' new film feature Tommy Lee Jones....in the desert. And Javier Badem or some name or other is a ruthless murderer. Is this the same book? I continued reading.

The main character (so far) is a man writing a biography on the deceased poet. I flipped to the dust cover, which I had avoided wanting to go into the book and film fresh (well, the film not so much, seeing as how I was reading the book, or so I thought). It's a thriller. Really? This picture just isn't adding up. The Coens' desert movie with Tommy Lee Jones is a thriller about a writer researching a dead poet?

I go into work and excitedly tell Kyle and Becca that I'm reading a book with words. "What book?" "No Country for Old Men." Kyle nods, "Oh, cool. Is that the Cormac McCarthy book the Coen brothers are doing?"

What? My book is written by Alan Schwartz. Not to be confused with Alvin Schwartz, author of the Scary Stories series.

Anyhow, I'm still confused. I'm about to research the mystery of how two books have the exact same title. I'm not totally upset that I'm reading the wrong book. Schwartz' tome is actually quite good! It's getting my mind back into the world of prose and language, and he is pretty adept at writing. Did I accidentally discover a gem?

UPDATE: Not as interesting as I thought. Both are named after the same line in a Yeats' poem "Sailing to Byzantium." Schwartz quotes Yeats on the page before the prologue. Hm. What the hell. It's actually sad, because no one has talked about this book at all, and it says on the flap that Schwartz is working on his second book, but there's no information about it. The main character is struggling with getting his first book published. Sad that he becomes the botched debut.

Tyra Banks is a Hero (in progress)

2007-05-09T09:56:00.000-07:00

INT. Tyra Banks' Studio

CAMERA CRANES DOWN

TITLE: The Tyra Banks Show

The audience's applause fades.

Tyra stares into the camera, unblinking, serious.

TYRA
(blinking rapidly)
Please, this is no time for
applause. There is an epidemic
taking the lives of the beautiful,
young women in this nation. Women
who want nothing more than to
selflessly let their thin figures grace
movie screens and magazine covers,
figures they have obsessively
refined through legitimate methods
of dieting and exercising. There
is an epidemic murdering these
women, preying on their naivete.
That epidemic is...the
CASTING COUCH.

The camera zooms in on blood-red couch, smoke issuing from the cushions. Moody lighting drapes the couch.

Tyra stands and walks in front of a large video screen. The screen displays images corresponding with Tyra's descriptions.

TYRA
Many of you might remember
reading that story about Terri
Hollenbachi, the sweet, 19-year-
old girl from Memphis with a
dream. She stepped off a bus
in Hollywood with a dream to
better the lives of others by
being an actress. But her looks
didn't have any time to get
her anywhere in life. She
answered an ad in the paper
looking for hot women to star
in a new film with Tom Cruise.
And she ended up dead.

The lights in the studio dim. The audience's silence is deafening.

TYRA
(cont'd)
Why? Because a man pretended
to be a movie director and lured
her to his lair, where he chopped
her into tiny pieces. When I read
about young Terri, I sprang into
action. I called Topanga, and we
set up a fake casting call to
catch unsuspecting women trying
to sleep their way to the top.
Let's watch.

The camera zooms into the video screen.

INT. FAKE CASTING ROOM

The fast-motion video shows the room being set up rapidly.

TYRA (V.O.)
Our crew set up a fake casting
call room, complete with fake
casting director and fake
movie director.

Arrows appear onscreen indicating "Fake" personnel.

TYRA (V.O.)
Our fake movie director, Milo,
has the sexy allure of a
fake hitman, a perfect candidate
for our movie director. With his
acting abilities, these women
will never think he's really
a killer.

The video shows the women lining up outside the casting room.

Quatro y Cinco de Mayo

2007-05-06T16:24:00.000-07:00

Now, you might not think that the Great Smokey Mountains are a place to celebrate Cinco de Mayo, but then you would be terribly incorrect. Thanks to Dr. Modugno, we had a beautiful place to stay for the weekend in the quiet town of Sylva, North Carolina.

And we did all the things one is supposed to do on Cinco de Mayo, like eat blueberry cream pie ice cream and play True Colors (apparently, I'm the one most likely to pile my plate at a buffet). And purchase Kudzu jelly. And shoot a crossbow, and ultimately lose two of the bolts (sorry Geoff). And finally, eat so much taco food stuffs that your belly bursts at the seams. And then eat ice cream and watch Planet Earth. What a great fucking weekend.

Another accomplishment this weekend: I finally finished Black Hole. It left me incredibly depressed, but maybe it's just because the material is so dark, as Geoff noted. There are so many stark landscapes presented in the book, ethereal planes filled with garbage and disease and mutations. It's such a bleak tale.

And we saw some pugs at the farmer's market that has me convinced that Katie and I need to own a pug. Or two.

Transition (Plan A)

2007-05-03T05:41:00.000-07:00

After sneaking a peek at my schedule the week after next, I'm worried. I won't be making nearly enough hours to really get by, which I calculated with some trusty arithmetic. However, the ensuing anxiety was quickly quelled by the idea of getting a job somewhere in my new neighborhood. By the way, here's where that is:

(many thanks to this Blogger for his tutorial on getting that map to embed...it was quite difficult)

I would absolutely love to be able to work within walking distance of my new place. The fact that I would not have to ride MARTA (which has taken who knows how many hours from my life from being slow) and that I would get to know the neighborhood and its inhabitants better is such an awesome notion. Even if I weren't earning that much per hour, I just want to work a lot this summer. It would be a definite plus to make money so close to home. I could walk home to have lunch, wouldn't get in that late, wouldn't have to wait on the Lindbergh train then the Airport train. That idea alone would be sweet.

However, this talk is really just Plan B to my Plan A (hence the title sounding like a song title off of Radiohead's Hail to the Thief). I had an interview at Cartoon Network last week, and I'm just hoping so badly that I get it. The interview went fairly well, despite the fact that I was soaked from rain and very sweaty. To have that foot in the door, I can't even express it.

Alright, I really have to get cleaning. And Katie's back from her exam! Now I have to go.

Headlines

2007-04-28T14:00:00.000-07:00

I think the Eats, Shoots, and Leaves author can be kinda crazy, but I guess he/she has a point.

I didn't realize REM's video for Losing My Religion was so complex in its visual sources.

Rich people are stupid.

2007-04-25T08:42:00.000-07:00

So you've probably seen these commercials by now where "Kate," the young professional, walks to her car, the last one in an empty parking lot. Her luxury car has a feature that shows if there is the heartbeat of a rapist/killer/mugger/magician/teleporter hiding inside of her car. She sees that, indeed, blood pumps through the veins of an unseen attacker inside of her luxurious automobile. She stops, spins around, and begins to run away. Thank god for the heartbeat detector – her car really cares about her safety!

Wait. Why doesn’t the car company just make a feature that makes it impossible for some stranger to slip inside?!?! What are car alarms for, again? Seriously, unless we’re talking about the ghost in Ghostbusters that gets into the taxi cab through the tail pipe, what’s the point of this useless, extraneous feature that really creates a false sense of safety? “Phew! The heartbeat sensor isn’t going off. There’s no way some whacko won’t be waiting, hiding on the outside of my car.”

And really, if you’re making enough money to purchase this car with such frivolous features, you probably work some place with security, and that means secure escorts. Kate, don’t be stupid. Have the guard walk you to your car. He’s got a gun (probably, or at least a baton or something like pepper spray. Get over the fact that you can’t look him in the eye because he’s making 1/10 of your salary and have him walk you out if you’re so paranoid about people lurking your car. And invest in a car alarm that doesn’t let people hide in your backseat under a blanket. In fact, get all the blankets out of your car, and start locking your doors. And close the moon roof. You’re just looking for trouble at this point.)

Helen Hunt

2007-04-23T12:41:00.001-07:00

Whatever happened to her?

Job Hunt

2007-04-23T12:15:00.000-07:00

House hunting, job hunting...At least the house hunt was quick, painless, and successful. With the job hunt, however:

My job hunt is exacerbated by the fact that I currently have the most disheartening and fruitless of internships. Thankfully, it's almost over! I should be careful, they like to fire people for this kind of thing, but my experience here is such that I would never want to step foot in this building ever again. Except, perhaps, to grab some delicious Chinese food or a milkshake. Or unless they hire me (ie, a job here would beat waiting tables...I guess).

In other news, I can't wait to move into the new place Katie and I got in Candler Park!!! I feel that will give me enough inspiration to work independently and prolifically. I really can't wait. I love it and I'm in love.

Also, Nick has me racking my brain for ideas for episodes of The Office. I might have one, but we'll see.

Diner Scenes

2007-04-17T19:16:00.000-07:00

I think if you look throughout the history of film, diner scenes often come up. Some are quiet and low-key, e.g. Sydney(1996), and that is rare. That scene offers both expository information, as well as extensive character development. It's a scene that might actually take place in a diner, with the possible exception of the premise leading up to the scene.

For the most part, diner scenes are used for the moment in which the heads of the other patrons pivot quickly to gaze and gawk at our protagonist couple. Pulp Fiction (1994) and obviously When Harry Met Sally...(1989) have these moments, but there's an array of others that you can probably better remember on your own than I could recollect and describe here.

From this, I gather that the scenes in movies set in diners are the most cinematic of stories taking place in that diner right then and there. No other couples in this diner are causing heads to spin. Notice that these diners are always Waffle House type establishments, complete with a bar and all-night hours. They are rarely restaurants--this requires reservations, sometimes fancy dress, and, most importantly, that you show up at a humanly hour. The adventures of our characters have no place for daylight. See Thief (1981) or Swingers (1996) for examples.

In short, diner scenes almost exclusively so that the characters in a film can make a big scene or embarrass themselves. Why is that? I do not find myself in a diner that often. Maybe I'm not very cinematic.

In other news:

Turtles are adorable, when not mutated ninjas and just sex pots. (PUN!)

People have too much/many: time, cats, pictures of cats.

House Hunt

2007-04-16T08:41:00.000-07:00

Today's been a loopy one. Riding on the train this morning, all those unprepared with no poles to grip, the train would accelerate forward, and we'd do a one-step-back move in our unscripted dance number. Not entirely unlike that animated Paula Abdul video. You know the one, with the wolf.

My mind is shrouded with a fog cloud, 15% chance of precipitation. I keep stepping into the neighborhoods Katie and I have visited during this whirlwind weekend. I step through the front door, greet the hipster neighbor, calm down the extremely excitable, hyper pug Henry, and plop down on our soft couch. The air outside smells nice, so we go for a walk. Oh, it's so lovely. We're friends with the owners of the local pub, so when we stop in with our pug, he looks at us with his ugly mug and says, Have a pint, but mind the pipsqueak. His name's Harry, I'll say. Or maybe it's Pickle or Dizzy.

Caffeine is a drug I enjoy. It can imbue one with the same effects as other drugs -- euphoria, clarity, hyperactivity, diarrhea. It's great when on the edge of sleep. You can find a pusher on every corner.

The office is busy, shooters abound on V. Tech campus. Very sad day.

Brought to you by the Letter &

2007-04-13T18:39:00.000-07:00

Sleep.

I need sleep. My biggest (perhaps only?) flaw is that I fall asleep easily. My early years of college featured many nights of midnight-oil burning. Watch Conan. Watch Adult Swim...the second time it comes on. Imaginations were fueled, life was lazy and swell. I never had this problem.

Now I work and learn and intern. And it sucks. I'm pretty exhausted by the end of most days, but it's odd. I'll fall asleep hanging out with friends, but when I'm by myself, I can vegetate in front of this thing for many extra hours. I think it's the intense concentration; with friends, I'm so very relaxed that I guess I slip into slumber.

Plus, getting up at 4:30 am, when I can hear people across the hall still playing Halo, this also sucks. Some mornings are better than others, like this morning I was able to wake up, convince myself to go to work, take a shower, drink tea, make a sausage, egg Mcmuffin. That's ok, but knowing the world is sleeping wears on one's psyche. I cannot wait for this somnambulistic lifestyle to end.

And onto "and." Basically, my argument is that "word and word" titles for artistic endeavours -- albums, movies, songs -- are pretty accurate indicators of their suckiness. Except Coffee and Cigarettes (2003) or Cigarettes and Coffee (1993). But, for instance, Muse. "Black Holes and Revelations." What a terrible sounding name. Plus, that album is such a disappointment for the band. Exhibit A. "Between Angels and Insects" by Papa Roach and Angels and Airwaves, some shit started by Mark (?) of Blink 182. These names are awful, and the and=crap phenomenon is proven simply by association with these musical institutions. Exhibit B, although an easy target.

And then there's Chutes and Ladders. Did anyone actually have fun with that? Yeah, I did too. My argument has no real merit.

Or does it?!?

Grown-Up Xanga

2007-04-11T13:52:00.000-07:00

Xanga had an interesting tenure over the course of my high school and college careers. Now I'm over it. It basically served as an outlet for boyish needs and bad taste. Now I have manish needs and exquisite bad taste. I still have to see Bad Taste (1987).

Now, I'm using Blogger. It's like Ikea, while Xanga, as my friend John Bird always put it (rather astutely, in retrospect), is the Wal-Mart of the internet. Blogger is sleek and round, stylish and modern. Wait, I think John was talking about MySpace. In any case...

I'm excited to have a new blog. It makes sense, as my life is about to change in the next month. Or rather, it's not going to change, but it's going to become what it should already be, but things like school and interning are getting in the way.

My next post will address how the word "And" tends to be a good indicator of the artistic merits of a work. For instance, Rush's upcoming album is entitled "Snakes and Arrows." I was saddened to see this. Rush is also the #1 guilty pleasure. I think that's incorrect, as people who enjoy Rush do not feel guilty and people who would only casually enjoy Rush to the point of guilt would probably not find it pleasurable.